IF Cinderella can have her dreams come true, then why not wish that the Grand Opera House pantomime might reach for the stars one day.
What's more, as standards rise all around it, from the touring West End hits to premieres of new thrillers, from Louise Denison's Our House to Nik Briggs's Sister Act and Robert Readman's Into The Woods, the pantomime needs to up its game.
New Pantomime Productions director Simon Barry has heard this all before and no doubt he will ignore constructive advice again but such stubbornness hinders his pantomimes. Stage Experience, Pick Me Up Theatre and York Stage Musicals are testament to pushing to be better each year; that is how theatre should be.
This Cinderella has its potential assets: a genuine star of stage and screen in Anita Harris; the Yorkshire factor of Emmerdale's Stuart Wade, back as Buttons and the show's assistant director after his injury woes in 2010's Cinderella; and the return of Rotherham's Rob "The Builder" McVeigh and Norton musical actress Lauren Hood from last year's Snow White.
Then add the veteran twinkle of Tom Owen and the Eurovision pop effervescence of Scooch pop duo Russ Spencer and Caroline Barnes and you have more than enough in the cast to have a ball with Cinderella.
Some of it works. Anita Harris is an elegant baddie full of sang froid, who has fun with Michael Jackson's Bad and will hope to have better moments with This Is My Moment once her voice regains its usual strength. Russ Spencer is a very personable Dandini; Caroline Barnes makes the Fairy Godmother more "street" and funnier than usual; Rob McVeigh's Prince Charming is in good voice, especially on Happy.
Stuart Wade's Buttons is as cheeky as ever and can still find another gear; Lauren Hood's Cinderella is a people's princess and she sings lustily, although the accent turned American in Frozen's Let It Go.
Pink's Get The Party Started makes for a high-energy ensemble blast-off to the second half, showing off York choreographer Emily Taylor's work to best effect. More numbers need to be of this standard, especially when too much emphasis is placed on musical setpieces. Only These Days, the new Take That number, rivals its impact.
In a nutshell, the music covers the paucity of the script, like curry power used to hide poor meat. The script, as ever, is what doesn't work and the routines aren't worked hard enough either, courtesy of the coasting Mr Barry. No reference to Le Grand Depart; perfunctory gibes at Pocklington and Tang Hall yet again; endless mentions of the dead and buried Last Summer Of The Wine by Tom Owen's otherwise kindly Baron Hardup; flat comic business for Ugly Sisters Paul Deakin and Tony Blaney.
Surely it wouldn't take much to have a yellow bike on stage or do more than merely mention current television shows as if by rote, and why was the reference to Mel B not dropped, given this weekend's news headlines?
And where's the slapstick gone, especially the biggest hit, The Twelve Days Of Christmas? Yet again, the Grand Opera House pantomime could serve its stars so much better. Bite the bullet, commission a script. It's that simple, Simon.
Cinderella, Grand Opera House, York, until January 4 2015. Box office: 0844 871 3024 or at atgtickets.com/york
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