WHEN my daughter was 16 she suddenly announced that she was going to Zanzibar for a fortnight.
She would be flying from Britain to Dar es Salaam in Tanzania where, in the early hours of the morning, she would be changing planes and flying to the East African island.
I was both furious that, using her own money, she had booked it without my knowledge, and shocked that she had been able to book it so easily. “There is no way you are going, absolutely no way,” I told her.
My husband was fine about her going, and couldn’t understand why I was worried. “How can you be happy about our daughter landing in Tanzania at 2am, or anytime for that matter?” I asked him.
She had booked it through an organisation offering hospital placements for students wanting to study medicine. I rang them and explained that she was 16. They seemed nonplussed by this, stating that the age of their students - who come from across the world - began at 16. But, nevertheless, they willingly refunded her money.
My daughter was hugely disappointed, so I reluctantly agreed that she could go on a different trip with the same company, to the Czech Republic.
“What’s the difference?” asked my husband. “About 4,000 miles,” I replied, concluding that, should anything go wrong, it would be far easier to rescue her in Europe.
I dropped her off at Leeds-Bradford Airport and as I saw her wheeling her suitcase towards check-in I remember thinking I might never see her again.
Two weeks later, I picked her up. She had had the time of her life and gained experiences that would not have been possible in the UK.
I was reminded of her trip after the furore surrounding Kirstie Allsopp’s 15-year-old son Oscar, who she allowed to go travelling around Europe for three weeks with a 16-year-old friend.
The TV presenter was criticised by some on social media, who felt that he was too young. Allsop said she worried more about ‘cars and drugs’ than risks from the Interrailing trip. Crazy as it is, the story led to her being investigated by social services.
Allowing the young lad to go off is in no way indicative of bad parenting. Quite the opposite. For Oscar it will be an adventure, it will be character-building. Would I have allowed one of my daughters to do the same? No I wouldn’t, but I applaud Kirsty Allsop for granting her son this experience. I am sure she is the best judge as to whether he is mature enough to look after himself. It could have been worse - a lads holiday in Ayia Napa, then's the time to worry.
Like my daughter, I am sure Oscar returned brimming with confidence and eager for more.
My husband, on the other hand, would have said yes - he'd have helped pack my daughter’s rucksack. From the age of six, looked after by airline staff, he was flying alone to and from Holland, where his grandparents lived. Later, in his teens, he flew to Lagos, Nigeria, where his father then worked, and then made the 600-mile journey inland to Kano by train. “It didn’t do me any harm,” he casually remarks.
Sadly, in the UK, we live in a culture in which most parents are reluctant to let their kids go to the end of the street alone before they reach secondary school age and even then, they continue to be protective, ferrying them about.
Parents worry about children no matter what their age. When either of my daughters - now in their mid-twenties - go abroad, I fret. From an early age, however, we both encouraged them to fly the nest and spread their wings. We were pleased when they opted to study in different parts of the country.
In spite of my horror, in some ways I was proud of my daughter for booking that journey to Zanzibar, without any qualms. I’m also envious - I wish I’d been more of an adventurer as a young woman and gone off to see the world.
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