RICHARD CLAYDERMAN is 60 this year. You know, the French pianiste (sounds better with the ‘e’). No? Well (and I quote), he has sold more than 85 million ‘albums’.

Romantique is his first “with a major label in more than a decade”. So what does he do with himself all day? Practise? On this evidence, he wouldn’t need to. He attended the Paris Conservatoire at the age of 12. Since then, it’s been downhill all the way. And we’re not talking skiing. He’s not daring enough. Tellingly, virtually none of the pieces here – adding up to barely 50 minutes – was originally intended for piano.

Almost all are vocal music (and sound better that way). The general tempo is slow, as in drying wallpaper. The only time he breaks sweat is in America (West Side Story). He gets good backing from the renowned Bulgarian Symphony Orchestra, which is relegated to tiny print, no doubt a reflection of their fee. Fans may flock. The rest of us should save our money.