I’M GETTING a bit fed up with the Scottish independence debate. They seem to do as they like anyway – scrapping tuition fees, passing new laws to help their old folk and the like. I hope they cut loose and get on with it.
But while we wait for the outcome, there’s another option – a far better one that nobody seems to have considered.
Instead of watching them leave us, why don’t we vote to join them? My mum suggested it, and I had to congratulate her on such a brilliant idea.
Scotland has a lot going for it. Their students don’t know how lucky they are not having to pay tuition fees. I’ve just filled in a fees form for my eldest daughter who is hopefully going to university this year, and it’s a terrifying document. Seeing all those noughts lined up, on loan to a teenager who won’t start work for a few years – it’s enough to make you want to run to the Highlands and move into a rundown croft.
It’s not only young people who get a better deal in Scotland. In recent years the Scots have passed a raft of laws to help the elderly and give them more of a say in how they live their lives. They’ve done this for people with mental health problems too – in fact I read recently that, in many respects, the country leads the world with its mental health system.
Property laws are fairer too, making the underhand practice of gazumping – which buyers in the UK live in fear of – rare, and from next year stamp duty is being cut. It’s all good news and knocks spots off us underprivileged, poverty-stricken Englanders down here.
We should join them as soon as possible. Consider the additional evidence in favour: they’ve got more spectacular scenery than we have, their whisky is second-to-none, and they’ve got deep-fried Mars Bars – that’s got to be a deal-breaker. Plus, and perhaps crucially, they have their own supply of oil; that’s surely got to sway most of our Government ministers.
Of course with anything there are downsides. The Scots have got dour Andy Murray and his scary mum, my husband hasn’t got the legs for a kilt, and haggis doesn’t look in any way appealing, even with chips. But these drawbacks can be overlooked in the wider scheme of things.
I think the Scots get a far better deal, and it’s probably going to get even better once they sever ties with us. We need to have our own referendum to join them. If I start a petition will anyone second it?
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