AFTER descending into severe depression, Martin Warley began to plan his own suicide. He tells Jennifer Kee how he has turned his life around and why people need to take mental health seriously.

Passing the tall man dressed in a shirt and tie in the street who appears to be out on a lunch break, you wouldn’t glance twice Martin Warley.

And why would you have any reason to suspect he is any different to the next person?

But figures have shown that one in four people in the UK will experience a mental health problem in any year and so indicate that this affects more of us than you might have thought.

Martin’s mental health problems started at the beginning of 2011, when a stressful job and increasing pressure at work caused other negative thoughts to occupy his mind, “When depression kicks into you, it stops you looking at things rationally and I did not think I was ill.

“I believed I was a failure at work, and I believed I was a failure as a husband and a person.”

The former project manager for Network Rail, now data analyst, was diagnosed with clinical depression in September 2012 after being on the verge of taking his own life.

A lack of sleep and negative thoughts such as believing he was useless and worthless, drove Martin to believe the only way he could get some rest from all the ‘chaos’ in his mind was to commit suicide.

“The closest thing I can describe it to is like the manic exchanges during seven or eight days on the stock exchange, all condensed into my head, multiplied a million times.”

The 43-year-old, who is based in Heworth, says his partner of 11 years had realised he was not acting himself, but he says he never spoke about what was happening in his mind. To Martin, it was nothing out of the ordinary.

“In the five days up to my planned suicide, I descended into hell in my head.

“I had no peaceful place to go in my mind.”

Martin is certainly not alone in this experience.

According to Mind, suicidal thoughts occur in 17 in 100 people over their lifetimes.

Earlier this year, Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg attacked the NHS for the way they treat mental health patients.

And campaigns such as ‘Time to Change’, along with charities such as Mind, are working to reduce the stigma surrounding mental health, as well as put it in the spotlight.

As Martin points out, “If your neighbour had diabetes, cancer or a physical illness, you would be concerned.

“You might check up on them every now and then, but with mental health issues, it is not the same. I want them both to be recognised as equally important.”

Martin, as a qualified engineer, has tried to understand why this happened to him.

“I look back and think the mind is such a powerful organ, for me to want to kill myself, it is a frightening thought.

“When I had depression, I did not think I was ill, which is crazy to me now but that is what my mind was telling me.”

The former army Corporal was only prevented from committing suicide when he visited a nurse at a surgery, who realised he was acting strangely.

Eventually the police were called and detained Martin before he entered Bootham Park Hospital as a voluntary patient.

“I trusted that figures of authority had my best interests at heart. I was almost relieved to go with them because it was then out of my hands.”

Martin was also suffering from psychosis, which ended after a few days, as well as depression and was monitored for 24 hours in a bedroom.

He was given anti-psychotic medication and anti-depressants. He may come off the latter in September at the earliest.

With a 50/50 chance of a relapse, Martin has been careful to help himself in all the ways he can.

A few minutes of mindfulness meditation each day helps him to pay attention to the present moment, and not worry about tomorrow or something in the past.

He is also getting plenty of regular exercise and these measures allow Martin an element of control over his depression.

“I am quite self-aware and I can look at the way my brain thinks. My wife and I have a list of triggers which I refer to when I think something is going wrong.

“Work is also beneficial for me and I am supported at work by my line manager and colleagues, but sadly this is not the same for everyone.”

It was also through his work that he found out about the charity Mind where he attends cognitive behaviour therapy sessions, mindfulness therapy and a mental health peer support group.

But he still believes there is much to be done to help people suffering from mental health issues, “The NHS are good at treating people but they never told me about Mind and if I had no therapy, I could have a relapse.

“There is still a problem with people not treating it as another illness. I want to change peoples’ perceptions of mental health.

“If people could recognise something is wrong, and be able to say ‘do you want to have a chat about that?’ this would be a great thing.”

With a ‘mind of matter’ approach, it appears Martin is moving towards living life with a more positive outlook.


Facts

• The symptoms of depression can be complex and vary widely between people. But as a general rule, if you are depressed, you feel sad, hopeless and lose interest in things you used to enjoy.

• The symptoms persist for weeks or months and are bad enough to interfere with your work, social life and family life.

If you are interested in attending or want to find out more information about York Mind peer support groups, please contact Dan for further details on 01904 643364