‘At a time of crisis you need a friend’

RACHEL Bruce didn't panic at first when she found a lump in her breast. Her mum and her aunt had had cysts in their breasts, and chances were Rachel had the same.

And she was right. But her GP sent her for further investigation. Which was just as well. Behind the benign cyst was a tumour.

"I had invasive lobular breast cancer," says the York mum of four. "It doesn't form a hard lump, but is more of a thickening."

The news was a bombshell for Rachel, who worked part time as a teacher at St Barnabas school and was a busy mum to Carys, Morgan, Tom and Kate.

Her diagnosis came on the eve of the school summer holidays, so there was no escape from telling the kids.

“The Olympics were on and Clare Balding was on the TV. I told them that she had had cancer and was okay. I couldn’t promise my kids I would be okay, but I could promise them that I would try.”

Months of treatment followed, including surgery, chemotherapy, and radiotherapy.

Shell-shocked, Rachel felt the need to join a support group, to share her experience with other women. But she was disappointed to find there was no such organisation in York.

She turned to Facebook and found a group for younger women facing breast cancer, but many of the members lived outside York.

“There wasn’t anything specifically for York woman of all ages; for women who want to go through their shared experience of going for treatment here at the hospital, because every place is different.”

At this very time, another local mum was diagnosed with breast cancer, Zoe Bounds.

“I was very upset that there wasn’t a breast cancer support group in York,” said Zoe, 36, who has two primary-school-aged children. “There was no way for women to meet up in the same city and share their fears, experience and a few laughs.”

Rachel added: “We got chatting about a need for a support group and realised that nobody else was going to do it, so we ought to.”

And so Breast Friends was born. It now meets twice a month: once during the day and once on an evening.

The evening meeting is specifically aimed at younger women with breast cancer, who face their own additional concerns, says Rachel.

“They can be plumped straight into menopause with one dose of chemotherapy. Fertility is another issue; a lot of women won’t have had children and they need to deal with that.”

The group began in May and is now firmly established.

The daytime group meets on the last Thursday of the month between 10am and noon at Me & Mrs Fisher, the café on Lord Mayor’s Walk. The evening group meets on the second Thursday of the month at the Pig & Pastry, Bishopthorpe Road, from 7pm-9pm.

There is a Facebook page (BreastFriendsYork) and breast cancer care nurses now hand out a card with details of the support group to patients having treatment in the city.

Rachel and Zoe have arranged special activities too, including sessions on laughter yoga and Nordic walking. They are planning a workshop with a lingerie specialist focusing on bra fitting to tie in with Breast Cancer Awareness Month, which runs throughout October. (They are currently looking for a venue for this event, ideally for one or two afternoons in October, and the location would need a fitting room: if you can help, email: yorkbreastfriends@yahoo.co.uk)

Rachel hopes more women in York will come along to Breast Friends.

She said: “Come along and meet us. Sharing can be really beneficial.”

York mum of three Jo Eastwood, 45, can vouch for that. She said: “It’s really important to be able to talk to somebody about the emotional side rather than the clinical one.

“At the end of the day, the breast cancer care nurses and plastic surgeons haven’t had cancer and don’t really know how you are feeling.”

And you can share things in the group that might be difficult to talk about with friends and family.

Jo said: “You can rant and say things to each other that you might not say to your family. There’s a camaraderie and empathy because they are going through the same thing.”