"I was dragged to a divorce recovery class by a friend and it saved my life"

HYPNOSIS is a well recognised therapy for overcoming a host of problems and conditions. It can help beat the battle of the bulge, stop smoking, reduce stress and even alleviate depression.

But one York hypnotherapist uses her skills with people suffering from another ailment of modern life - divorce.

American-born Susan Dunlop began working with people whose relationships had broken down in the US. For four years, she ran divorce recovery groups, where up to 30 people met regularly for support and advice.

The groups, which are confidential, are popular and successful in America, and Susan, who moved to York last year, wants to set them up here.

"Divorce recovery groups are all over America," said Susan, who lives in Fulford.

"Practically every church hall runs one. The meetings are packed with about 20 or 30 people who all sit in a circle. You go around and introduce yourself, say what's happened to you. Everybody shares their experience, people cry, some people tell you how they were beaten up, or ruthlessly dealt with, and it gives you perspective on your own life.

"There's always a real mix of people and each week we discuss a different topic, from getting over the initial trauma, to dealing with the legal aspects and even looking at dating again.

"It's an organic process and totally confidential. People support each other, often go for dinner or coffee afterwards. New friendships are formed and new perspectives gained. You don't feel alone any more."

As an experienced hypnotherapist, Susan also uses some of her specialist skills with her groups. "It's still a support group and I give out information, but I apply creative visualisation techniques and affirmation and positive thinking," she said.

Being positive is crucial for anyone whose relationship has ended, insists Susan. "I believe our lives are as we think they are. I believe in the power of positive thinking."

The logic is that negative thoughts are a self-fulfilling prophesy - tell yourself you are fat, ugly, useless and unlovable, and it's hard for you or anyone else to see otherwise. Swap this for a different mindset by focusing on something you like about yourself or an achievement you have made, and you're beginning to think positively and turn your life around.

Susan is determined to set up the first divorce support group in York. She knows it works, because she's been through it herself.

"I'm passionate about it because it's made such an impact on my life," said Susan, whose husband Rick left her after 20 years of marriage.

"I was dragged to a divorce recovery class by a friend and it saved my life," she said.

"When Rick left me, I had to remember to take each breath. The trauma of divorce is like being hit by a truck. The grief is like losing a loved one to death, except this loved one actually wants to leave you.

"Divorce destroys not only your future and devastates the present, but it mutilates your past so you don't know what it was you had."

When her husband left her, Susan's weight fell to 6 stone. She said the group gave her hope, a new direction and the courage to face each day.

She said: "I had all the educational and intellectual skills and life experience to know that I would get through it, but when you are in grief each moment is such an eternity of anguish.

"Only the loving presence of people who have experienced the same thing and were working to acquire courage and strength to create new lives inspired and bolstered me."

In her private practice, A Luminous Life Hypnotherapy, Susan works with clients on a one-to-one basis to deal with relationship breakdowns, but also uses hypnosis with people who want to lose weight, stop smoking, tackle depression, or improve their sports performance.

She also does past-life regression, with a view to helping clients tackle problems in their current lives.

York adult education arts tutor Cheryl Colley, 50, has been having hypnosis with Susan to lose weight. In 12 weeks she has lost three stone.

"I used to wear a size 24 but now I am in a 16-18," says Cheryl who is married with three grown-up sons.

Cheryl said her weight made her depressed. She said: "I didn't really want to think about living the size I was."

After years of trying different diets, Cheryl is delighted to have lost weight through hypnotherapy. The key, she says, has been a holistic approach, where Susan got to the root of her over-eating problem.

Cheryl said: "Susan works on different areas of your life to find out why you put on weight. You have got to be honest with yourself and work at it."

For her divorce recovery group, Susan says she needs 12 people to get it off the ground. There will be a small fee, to cover costs such as the hire of the venue, but Susan believes participants could repair their lives.

She said: "It can transform a horrific, agonising experience into a challenging opportunity to create a richer and happier life."

To find out more, contact Susan Dunlop, telephone 01904 626047 or 07946 927441 or email sdunlop994@hotmail.com