Becoming a mentor can transform a life

In the gym at the back of the building, a group of youngsters are playing basketball with volunteer Steve Farrow, their shoes squeaking on the playing surface.

In the social room next door it’s a bit quieter, small huddles of children chatting and occasionally bursting into squeals of laughter.

This could be any youth club in any town in England.

Except that The Island isn’t your typical youth club at all.

Instead it is a charity – one which supports vulnerable young people by teaming them up with a mentor who will provide them with the kind of positive role model that’s often missing from their lives.

The youngsters, aged between eight and 13, come from all kinds of backgrounds, says the charity’s mentoring co-ordinator Nigel Poulton.

Some come from broken homes; others from families where domestic violence is an issue.

Some have behavioural issues, others suffer from bullying, or are just struggling to cope with the move from primary to secondary school.

Their mentors – who are all volunteers – take them out once a week, for some precious one-on-one time. Together they might take in a film, or go ten-pin bowling, karting, swimming or rock climbing.

“The aim is for them to build a relationship with a responsible adult, who can talk to them, listen to their problems, answer their questions – and just help to build their self-esteem and confidence,” says Nigel.

Twelve-year-old Callie* was referred to the charity because she was depressed.

There was trouble at home between her mum and her step dad, and she was struggling to adjust to life at secondary school.

She’s had two mentors, who took her horse-riding and for picnics on the Bar Walls among other things.

She particularly liked her second mentor, she says. “She was in her mid-thirties and she was really nice, really funny. My mum really liked her.”

Now, meeting Callie at The Island, you wouldn’t know she’d been through such a dark period.

She’s lively, outgoing and funny – and clearly having a great time.

Roger*, who has an autistic spectrum condition, is a year younger than Callie.

He admits he has trouble making friends at his York secondary school. “I tend to overtalk,” he says. He’s certainly got a unique way with words. He’s recently been introduced to his mentor, a young man in his twenties. What is he like?

“He’s a person. Normal. Got eyes and mouth.”

But Roger does enjoy coming to The Island, where the other youngsters accept him for who he is. “It’s the only chance I have to socialise with anybody,” he says.

Altogether, more than 50 vulnerable youngsters in York now have volunteer mentors.

But The Island needs many more volunteers to come forward – more than 50 youngsters are still waiting for a mentor.

There is a particular need for male mentors, says Nigel, a former international aid worker turned qualified social worker. Nigel said: “A high proportion of the young people referred to The Island are boys who perhaps don’t have a father figure they can relate to. We do need more volunteers.”

Earlier this year, to provide somewhere for youngsters waiting to be paired with a mentor to go, The Island opened two evening clubs – this one at the 68 Centre, known as North Island, and a second in Dringhouses, known as South Island.

North and South Island run for two to three hours one evening a week every couple of weeks. But while the youngsters seem to love coming, the clubs are no substitute for giving them a mentor of their own.

Steve Farrow knows all about the value of mentoring. A former soldier turned diplomat who now works for an organisation which lends people equipment so they can continue living at home instead of going into hospital, the 58-year-old recently mentored a teenage boy who needed a father figure.

The 13-year-old was disruptive at school, and could be difficult for his single mum to handle.

Steve took him out once a week. They would go karting or ten-pin bowling, or else watch a film.

But what the boy particularly liked doing was going to get a cheese and bacon wrap, then just chatting to Steve while they ate.

“He just wanted something,” Steve says.

“He asked lots of questions.”

Steve remembers going to collect him one evening when he’d clearly had an argument with his mum. He stormed out of the house then sat sulkily in the car. His mum came out and said: “He’s not coming back in this house!”. Steve turned to the boy, and did his father-figure bit. “I said: ‘Be a man. Go and apologise to your mum!’”

Reluctantly, the boy did.

He returned to the car shortly afterwards, sat in silence for a few moments, then turned to Steve and said ‘thanks Steve’.

“It was a good moment,” Steve says.

• The names of Roger and Callie were changed to protect their identity.

Your chance to make a difference

•If you would like to volunteer as a mentor with The Island, call 01904 628449, email theislandn1@gmail.com, or visit theislandn1york.org.uk/get-involved

Volunteers must be aged 18 or over.

You will be trained, and will then obtain a DBS clearance certificate.

Staff at The Island will then ask about your interests, before pairing you with a young person they think will be a suitable match.

You will be introduced to the young person at their home, in the presence of their parent or carer and of a member of staff from The Island.

You and the young person you are mentoring will then make your own arrangements about where to go during your weekly outing.