THERE has long been a rivalry between traditional winemakers and those using modern methods but there's a chance they'll soon join forces in a bid to combat a new threat to their livelihoods - should a new discovery by Chinese scientists revolutionise production as expected.
Experts at Ai-Foo University in Nanjing have found that a manufactured new bacteria, termed the 4PR11-I germ, not only doubles the size of red grapes when injected into vines but also increases "happy day enzymes" that render the alcohol harmless, in that drinkers have no hangovers.
Ai-Foo Shiraz is already the fastest selling wine in China and, while EU lobbyists won't allow these wines or the bacteria to come into Europe, hence so little promotion here, they could be allowed into the British market once the Brexit process frees up trade negotiations.
A few French producers, fearing they'll be left behind in the long run, are also already upping sticks to the Far East in a bid to double not only grape size but profits too under a new 'Les Angover' brand. Donald Trump is also reportedly looking at buying into this fake news production process.
Ultimately it could force the EU's hand if the continent loses producers and sales, with double-sized wines from China swamping stores or breaking into the underground markets, and leaving nobody hungover.
We'll probably know more about it by this exact date (ahem, April 1) next year.
Still, so much for this nonsense Neo World wine; for now we're sticking with New and Old World.
And two New Worldies we've genuinely enjoyed this week are currently on offer at Waitrose.
The wonderfully named Fog Head (named after the weather around its place of origin, as opposed to what it does to the drinker) is a lovely 2013 Reserve Pinot Noir hailing from the Pacific coast in Monterey County, California.
The delicate strawberry and raspberry fruitiness, acidity and firm structure of this fresh, light-medium-bodied tipple add to its lushness and elegance, with a little toasted oak, some very subtle vanilla and earthy undertones creating complexity. Lovely.
It's on offer for £10.99, down from £14.99, until April 18.
Also on offer down the aisle till April 18 is a bargain Riesling, the Baily & Baily one using the grapes from Clare Valley in Australia, which is down from £8.49 to £6.79.
In a lovely slimline bottle are lifted citrus and floral aromas and flavours with a long refreshing finish, making it a splendid tipple for these lighter and recently warmer days. The zinginess would also make it fit well with spicy Thai dishes.
Riesling has never really had mainstream success but we can't understand why not, especially with good ones like this at such a price.
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