Bereaved tell of anguish at decision to ban mourners from York Crematorium

More than 3,000 people have now signed the petition in less than three days, despite City of York Council sticking by its decision to prevent people saying goodbye to loved ones because of the risk of them passing on or catching the coronavirus.

Ian Floyd, Interim Head of Paid Services, has said he knows this is a terrible time for so many right now, and he is sorry for the impact of the decision the council has had to make to protect all concerned.

The severity of that impact is outlined in numerous outraged and despairing comments posted on the online petition, https://www.change.org/p/city-of-york-council-families-barred-from-funerals?

One woman said she had just lost her father to Covid-19 and would now be unable to attend his cremation.

“My 82-year-old mother last saw him leaving home to go to hospital in an ambulance, she never spoke to him again and he died three days later,” she said.

“This is the last straw, now she cannot say goodbye to him at his cremation and she feels she’s abandoned him after 62 years of marriage... it is just a nightmare, these are real people not statistics.”

Another woman said that her mother had passed away and the family had just been told that it could not attend her cremation. “We are all devastated,” she said.

Here are just some of the other comments which have been posted:

*"My friend has just lost her father to this terrible virus, they are hurting and grieving and should be allowed to say goodbye to the person they live dearly. My heart bleeds for her and her family."

*"I know that people need a funeral to grieve... to take that away from them is heartless and disgusting!"

*My Dad recently died of Covid-19. I wasn't allowed to visit him; no one was there to hold his hand when he died.I couldn't imagine not being allowed to be with him on the day he is cremated.It would be an unnecessary cruelty."

*"This practice is cruel and heartless."

*"Everyone deserves a good send off. Families need to say goodbye. It is absolutely shocking they think this is acceptable take precautions but don’t punish ."

*"My 100 year old mother lives in York. I've been told this week that she is dying, not of Covid-19 but as a natural process of her age. It is absolute agony not being able to go to be with her at the end of her life. The thought of her dying alone is more than I can bear. The thought of not being able to have a funeral for her is beyond words. She isn't rubbish to be disposed of. She's a kind, loving human being who is loved and deserves respect."

*"Disgusting and inhumane. STOP this now! If I lost my husband and couldn't mourn properly I would want to commit suicide."

*"It is unnecessarily cruel to ban immediate loved ones from funerals when we can still shop in a supermarket. It must be hard enough to know your loved one had died alone let alone not be able to say that last goodbye."

*"I’ve lost two people very dear to me and cannot now go to their funeral and give them a decent burial. This is morally wrong."

*"Just when you thought the human race was pulling together and showing empathy and understanding for each other, City of York Council shatters that with their appalling decision to stop families saying goodbye to the loved ones they have lost. Hang your head in shame CYC!”

*"Not allowing close family members to attend the funeral of loved ones is heartbreaking. This decision should be reversed for the mental wellbeing of their relatives.”

* “This is an utterly insensitive, draconian decision!”

The council has said in defence of its decision:

"The council had already introduced social distancing measures at the crematorium before the national guidance was published and our measures were in line with these guidelines.

However, the health and safety of staff, funeral directors and mourners is paramount and it was clear that we needed to do more to protect the resilience of this part of the City’s pandemic response ahead of the peak of deaths which we are anticipating will start to happen within the next 4 weeks, based on national modelling.

We are following Public Health England advice for when there is sustained transmission of coronavirus in the community and people may be infected without showing symptoms.

There are also circumstances in which Covid-19 may not be given as the first cause of death but the infection come to light during the medical review process before burial takes place. As there can be up to 14 services a day at the crematorium, it is vital that the number of people visiting is kept to a minimum to minimise the chances of spreading coronavirus.

There can be up to 14 services a day, with up to 10 or 5 people at each service, meaning that in one day, over 150 people could potentially visit the crematorium. It is vital that the number of people visiting the crematoria is kept to a minimum, in order to minimise the chances of spreading coronavirus.

We also have a very small skilled team providing a critical service, if they became infected we would have a further public health risk in not being able to undertake cremations at all.

These changes are in line with a number of other local authorities who have taken the same action, in some cases earlier, during this unprecedented situation."