"PANICKING over presents?" Normally, I would hurl a press release which began with those words in the bin.

But this year, the stress of Christmas - which, according to a survey, is rated as more stressful than getting married - is really getting to me.

Shopping for gifts is not something I normally find difficult. Go out, buy what you need, go home. I can honestly say this is the first time I haven't been able to get what I need - and on Saturday (yes, a mad time to shop, I know), I felt like one of those people who race with staring eyes and wild hair, from store to store, town to town, and country to country, desperately searching for the World's Most Wanted Toy.

After a hideous six hours, I went home empty-handed and slightly deranged after being unable to secure any of the following:


BBC Dad's Army CD

My husband loves this series and has been collecting them for years. Only now, according to bookshop ordering systems, they have been discontinued. In each shop, I was told in true Little Britain-style, "computer says no". The tapes appear to have been replaced with a handful of greatest hits chosen by Phil Jupitus, which include episodes from the BBC tapes. What's the point of that? Why can't the powers that be leave perfectly good products alone?

Total time wasted: One hour 30 minutes.


Camera

My eldest daughter has been badgering for a camera for ages. She wants one with a video facility and there are some cheapish ones on the market. Little did I know, however, that buying a camera - any camera - demands a PhD in modern technology. I spent the best part of the afternoon asking people to explain the meaning of megapixels, face detection and optical image stabilisation. Then there are hidden costs of the memory cards and wires for this and that. When one assistant tried to explain how to transfer short moving sequences on to a DVD, I lost the will to live. Unless you have the brain of Stephen Hawking, I reckon you're better off with a simple disposable.

Time wasted: two hours.


Winter boots

For my youngest daughter. But they're all horrible - the style is shapeless and most look like they were stitched together by a six-year-old. The pairs we saw wouldn't offer much protection in a light frost let alone snow.

Time wasted: One hour.


Something my mother will like

Or, rather, something she will like enough to keep. Last year a lovely mixing bowl and an even lovelier pepper grinder got the boot.

Time wasted: One hour.


Something cheap that looks hugely expensive

For my sister. She is very generous and treats us to lovely gifts from expensive London shops. I find it hard to compete and am constantly on the lookout for costly-looking clobber at Primark prices.

Time wasted: One hour.


A catnip mouse

Even a gift for our cat became a thorn in my side - the pet store I usually go to had closed down. I'm taking heart in that I'm not suffering alone. The survey, by Virgin Media, found that despite 12.8 million homes in Britain being online, UK shoppers still clock up a staggering 12 billion miles to bag the right gifts for family and friends.

Time wasted: 20 minutes

Are we mad? Why don't we all buy gift vouchers and let others brave the queues and frustration.