I ALWAYS know when my husband is in a bad mood.
He mulls over petty things that I have done which have annoyed him, and lets me know about it in his own sulky way. He rarely tells me what’s irritated him, he just makes it clear by his general demeanour that he isn’t happy.
I don’t do that. I let it out - I voice my opinions and let him know if he’s done something to upset me.
In that way women are very different to men. How many times do women chew over incidents involving others? They spill out their worries to friends and partners: “Do you think I should have said that?”, “What do you think she meant by that?”, “I am worried I might have upset so and so.”
I do this a lot and, while my husband pretends to listen, he makes it clear that he isn’t overly interested. “Does it matter who said what?” he will say, and go on to say that he never burdens me with emotional stuff. “Even if I had a problem, I wouldn’t tell you,” he tells me.
Men keep their emotions bottled up, women don’t.
So, to answer the question ‘Are women more emotional than men?’ I would say that outwardly, yes, we are. But inwardly, that’s another story.
The debate has been raging all week, ever since Kenny Shiels, manager of the Northern Ireland women’s football team, claimed that women’s football teams concede more goals in quick succession because they are more ‘emotional’ than men.
He said after conceding a goal women need time to get the ‘emotional imbalance’ out of their heads.
Emotions run high on the soccer pitch with the male species too. Who can forget Paul Gascoigne crying like a baby after receiving a yellow card at the 1990 World Cup semi-final, which would make him miss out on a possible England final?
I admit that’s unusual, and Shiels is right in that respect - women are more likely to let their emotions get the better of them when things don’t go to plan.
Last December former Prime Minister’s spokeswoman Allegra Stratton wept openly outside her home after footage emerged of her at a mock news conference, where Downing Street staff were joking about a Christmas party held during lockdown.
It would be highly unusual to find any man in the same position behaving like that.
It is somehow more accepted that women wear their hearts on their sleeves. Displays of emotion among females, particularly at work, are often attributed to PMT or any manner of biological processes. Men having an outburst in the office would be seen as just that, so they hide their feelings and maintain a stiff upper lip.
It doesn’t mean they lack emotion, it simply means they bury it. Equally, men are reluctant to talk about their health - but it doesn’t mean they don’t get ill.
Showing your emotions doesn’t always equate with sensitivity. I’ve known some women who can turn on tears like a tap, yet are as hard as nails. Others, like me, who rarely cry, are seen by some as lacking in emotion. People express emotion in different ways. Nobody should label anybody else as devoid of emotion, because we don’t really know how others function.
I know my husband has feelings and I wish he would let them out more, but I know he won’t, it’s not in his nature. I have to accept that. And he has to accept my highly emotional rantings.
As for Shiel’s squad, maybe they should indulge in the sort of behaviour expected of them - sit down and wail each time a goal goes against them.
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