Mental health & wellbeing with Martin Furber

I was talking last week about avoiding the ‘holiday hustle’ and switching off from work.

This week, I thought I would talk about something that can chip away at our sense of wellbeing without us even realising it, micromanagement.

We often associate this term with overbearing bosses, constantly looking over our shoulders and nitpicking every detail. But what if I told you micromanagement can creep into other areas of our lives too?

Micromanagement, in essence, is the behaviour of controlling someone else's work to an excessive degree. It stifles autonomy, reduces trust, and can leave us feeling frustrated and undervalued. While a boss who insists on rewriting every email might be the classic example, micromanagement can also come from our partners, family members, or even ourselves!

Imagine a friend constantly checking your phone plan or a child insisting on you arranging their toys a certain way – these can be subtle forms of micromanagement. Even our inner voice can become a micromanager, bombarding us with self-doubt and anxiety about every decision.

So how does this relentless control impact our mental health?

• Stress: Micromanagement creates a constant state of tension. We feel like we can't relax or make mistakes, leading to chronic stress and anxiety.

• Reduced confidence: When our abilities are constantly questioned, it chips away at our self-esteem. We may start doubting ourselves and lose the motivation to try new things.

• Burnout: Feeling like we're never good enough can be exhausting. Burnout, with its emotional and physical symptoms, can become a real risk.

Breaking free from the micromanagers:

The good news is, there are ways to address micromanagement, no matter who it's coming from. Here are a few tips:

• Open communication: Talk to the person! Explain how their behaviour is affecting you.

• Set boundaries: Let them know what level of control you're comfortable with.

• Focus on the bigger picture: Remind everyone, including yourself, of the overall goal and the importance of trust.

Remember, you are capable! Taking back control, even in small ways, can do wonders for your mental well-being.

And for the micromanagers out there? Trust is key! Empowering others promotes creativity, ownership, and a happier environment for everyone.

So, this week, let's all reflect on our own micromanaging tendencies, both big and small. By encouraging trust and open communication, we can create a more supportive and stress-free space for ourselves and those around us, whether that be at work or home.

One of the best ways we can really feel good about ourselves, is when we feel connected and supported. If you run any type of group or activity, to help people with their mental health and sense of well-being, in and around the area, then please get in touch.

Martin Furber is a therapist. Contact: wellbeing@martinfurber.com

Please note: If you feel you are in a mental health crisis or emergency and may be in danger of causing harm to yourself or others then please contact your GP, go to A&E, call the Samaritans on 116 123 or text SHOUT to 85258.