WELL, he is the town cryer. It's his job to cry.

Reader Dale Minks sent us this photograph of an apparently-sobbing John Redpath, York's well-known oyez man, on the steps of the city's Mansion House.

Dale had read The Press's story on Monday about Northern men being unafraid to show their emotions in fact, a survey showed they were the biggest cry babies in the country.

Just think of the most famous tear-squirter of all, footballer Paul Gascoigne. Northern men are the most likely to cry at weddings and soppy love songs, and are second only to Scottish men when it comes to blubbing at films or TV shows.

"Why no mention of our local heartbroken hero as he floods the city centre and the Mansion House steps? Boo-hoo," said Mr Minks.

So why was John Redpath crying on the Mansion House steps? Had he just read out the wrong proclamation and offered to buy everyone free drinks for life, instead of inviting tourists to take advantage of York's attractions? Was it a just speck in the eye?

Actually, the Diary can reveal, they were crocodile tears. "The shot was taken for a charity calendar," John confided. "They wanted the town cryer crying, the Romans roaming and things like that."

So does he cry? "Not often enough over the years. I should have done more of it at times of crisis," he said.

THE following is allegedly a communique from the Ministry of Transport: "Due to the poor quality of driving in England, the Ministry of Transport has now devised a new scheme in order to identify poor drivers and give good drivers the opportunity to recognise them whilst driving.

"For this reason, from the 9th to 23rd June 2006, those drivers who are found to be driving badly, which includes: overtaking in dangerous places; hovering within one inch of the car in front; stopping sharply; speeding in residential areas; pulling out/turning without indication; performing U-turns inappropriately in busy high streets; under-taking on motorways and shouting obscenities at other road users and pedestrians, will be issued with flags, white with a red cross, signifying their inability to drive properly.

"These flags must be clipped to a door of the car and be visible to all other drivers and pedestrians.

"Those drivers who have shown particularly poor driving skills will have to display a flag on each side of the car to indicate their greater lack of skill and general lower intelligence mindset to the general public." Now has this got anything to do with the World Cup (that's a football competition which, apparently, is due to take place soon)?