WOMEN playing football? It's just not cricket (and it certainly isn't tennis). I'm not a fan. And neither does it grab the head of European football Lennart Johannsson, who has said that sponsors will not back female soccer if stars do not play on sex appeal and promote their side using their looks.

That's not right either, but sadly sex appeal seems to push all the right PR buttons for female tennis stars - just look at tabloid coverage of Wimbledon - and athletes (with the exception of those well-known Russian shot putters).

Johannsson said that women seen playing in the rain, sweating, then emerging from the dressing room looking lovely would bring in sponsors, while without it, they would have to depend on more spectators turning up.

His views echoed those of the president of football's world governing body FIFA, who said women should wear more feminine clothes on the pitch.

Let's face it, not many people are interested in women's football. Nor in women's cricket or rugby. And, at the risk of being branded a traitor to womanhood, I can understand why.

The couple of women's football matches I have been to, albeit years ago, were about as interesting as an afternoon of marbles. It's bad enough seeing grown men yelling, spitting and air punching. But ladies? Little Britain's Emily Howard would turn in her stilettos.

Joking aside, the language used on the pitch sounds even less pleasant coming from a woman. It has a harsher edge than any of the grunts we have been hearing at Wimbledon.

Even the clothing jars. Football strips don't lend themselves to a female version of the sport. Women may buy the right sized gear, but for some reason it always looks too big and ill-fitting.

Women and football don't sit well together. It's just too, well, too 'male' a sport, too deep rooted in 'male' behaviour.

The number of women supporters of mainstream (men's) clubs is, apparently, growing like wildfire. I can understand and relate to the supporting role - I was a regular visitor to watch Middlesbrough in my youth and still have half an eye on how they are doing. But as for wanting to play, I can't fathom it.

Call me a 1950s throwback, but heading off on wet Sunday mornings to thrash it out on a muddy pitch with a bunch of women just isn't appealing. And going to watch a bunch of women doing just that is even less of an incentive to get out of bed.

My sentiments are exactly the same with rugby, and as for cricket - the jury is still out.

I'm not saying the fairer sex should stick to embroidery and making buns. And I'm not saying they should never play football or any traditionally male sport. Women fought for freedom of choice and should be able to play whatever sport they want.

But as for attracting the sort of crowds that women's tennis pulls in - it won't happen. I believe that, in my lifetime anyway, all these 'male' sports will continue to struggle to attract anyone other than family and friends.

If women soccer teams are going to fight for better recognition, they should bear in mind that male players sell themselves on sex appeal, lifting their shirts and rubbing the sweat off their foreheads. I hate to have to say it, but the future of women's football might just lie in wet T-shirts and hot pants.

Updated: 11:29 Tuesday, June 28, 2005