WHEN asked to divulge the secret of a happy marriage, couples celebrating their golden wedding tend to plump for three words: "Give and take."

But reader George Appleby has a more scientific variation: "Add and subtract."

By using a special guide George has shared with the Diary, husbands can work out how to win - and lose - brownie points.

For example: "You go out to buy her what she wants (+5 points). In the rain (+10). But return with beer (-15)."

George, who lives in Clifton, York, writes on an Apple Macintosh computer, and is a member of the Yorkshire Macintosh Users Group. The group's emailed circular included this mathematical aid to marital harmony, alongside the usual techno tips.

Does George use the formula to ensure he stays in the good books of wife Sylvia? "It's pointless," he jokes. "I no longer compete. I am completely domineered."

Nevertheless, he believes he has scored a few points because "I have just joined the ranks of the world's great painters. I have painted the fence."

And he knows where he would lose out. "Sylvia's great, lifelong love has been clothes. If I didn't notice them, she would pick that up very quickly."

George and Sylvia will celebrate their 55th wedding anniversary later this month. It is a miraculous milestone.

"My wife was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer in 2001 and is in her fifth year of remission," said George. "We make every day count."

HERE are some more pointers from the husband's guide to winning and losing.

"A night out. You take her to a movie (+2 points). You take her to a movie she likes (+4). You take her to a movie you hate (+6). You take her to a movie you like (-2). And it's called DeathCop (-3). You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans that was featured on Oprah (-15).

"Communication. When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0). You listen for over 30 minutes (+50). You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500). She realises this is because you have fallen asleep (-5,000)."

OUR recent dip into the strange world of Samuel Smith Brewery in Tadcaster brought a vigorous defence of the company from a former pub landlady.

Mary Broadhead ran the Crystal Palace on Holgate Road with husband Terry for 24 years before they retired in 1999.

On hearing that the brewery has cut allowances to pubs for floral displays and quiz prizes, she admitted that brewery boss Humphrey Smith "does have individual ideas".

But "both Humphrey and brother Oliver were approachable. We worked for them for a long time and we enjoyed it."

One or other of the Smith brothers would be in the brewery "at six o'clock in the morning. They knew every worker by name."

When they got married they had a very big wedding reception. "Everybody who had worked for them for more than two years was invited. We had a wonderful time."

Any more reflections or information on the ways of Samuel Smith Brewery welcome.

Updated: 09:47 Wednesday, June 01, 2005