THE Diary has found the cushiest job on the planet: press spokesman for Samuel Smith's Brewery in Tadcaster.

Several odd stories have been coming our way about the behaviour of the brewery. One Sam Smith's house reports that a free weekly allocation of beer for a pub quiz has been stopped. Another publican has been told that an allowance for hanging baskets and other floral arrangements has been cut.

We also learned that a meeting was to take place this week about the cutbacks involving brewery boss Humphrey Smith.

Samuel Smith's is notoriously secretive about its affairs. But that didn't stop us ringing the brewery and asking to be put through to whoever deals with press inquiries.

He turned out to be Simon Poynter. So, we asked Simon, why has the brewery stopped free beer for pub quizzes?

"As per, there's no comment from the brewery. With anything we do or don't do, there's no comment," he said amiably.

Well, we've heard a bizarre rumour that Humphrey is making these changes to present his heir with a challenge when the brewery passes down the family line. Could that be true?

"Again there's no comment on anything. It's a private family company and that's a private family matter."

But it affects thousands of Sam Smith's customers. "We don't really make comments."

That must make your job as press spokesman kind of easy. "We don't have an official press officer," he explained. "It's a little job we do among many others we have in the office, because there's only two words to say: no comment."

Buffed and rebuffed. Simon's admirably consistent performance reminded us of a beer, not made by Sam Smith's but York Brewery: Stonewall.

IF anyone else has information about Sam Smith's and would like to talk to us about it, please call. We're feeling a little rejected at the moment.

ONE fan of the brewery is Adelle Stripe. The 28-year-old would like her wake to be held at the Angel & White Horse in Tadcaster. "It's a great boozer, and I used to work there. The beer is about £1 a pint, although I would like Humphrey Smith to relax his laws on spirits and stock up with Havana Club 7 Year Old Rum for this occasion."

How do we know this? Because Adelle has left such details on www.mydeath.net, "where you are encouraged to think of your funeral as the last and possibly greatest gift you will ever give to your bereaved".

She has even posted the wording for her suicide note on to the site. Creepy.

OUR thanks go to another H Smith - Herbert Smith of Malton - who pointed us to a wonderful quote we had missed from our business pages earlier this month.

Talking about the prospect of the so-called "manure tax", top North Yorkshire racehorse trainer Tim Easterby said: "Somebody should get to the bottom of it."

Quite what the link is we cannot speculate, but Herbert goes on to suggest "an answer to Radio York's problem. Bring back Ivy and Ada.

"Nowt's been the same since Dan Chisholm and Ivy and Ada left."

Updated: 09:25 Friday, May 27, 2005