IMAGINE a world with no sound, where people are too afraid to talk to you and a simple task like catching a bus can leave you feeling embarrassed.
For Jannine Coton, 23, of Acomb, York, that world is a reality - and she's determined to make it work.
By the time Jannine's hearing began to fail she had experienced five years of sound and learned how to talk.
With the help of a hearing aid, she studied in a mainstream school until she became profoundly deaf and enrolled at a deaf college.
She dreamed of becoming a nurse and working with pre-school children, but was told not being able to hear children from behind made it impossible.
She gained office qualifications and held down two jobs, but suffered from depression over the lack of communication she received at work.
Despite setbacks, Jannine has maintained faith in her own ability and is determined to help others less fortunate than herself.
Jannine is expecting her first baby in September with fianc John Madine.
"I'm deaf, not ignorant. Many deaf people out there are just the same, but we have to put up with remarks and attitudes towards our deafness daily," said Jannine.
"Body language is everything to me. It gives me a lot of detail to what is being said and I strongly rely on watching people. It helps even more when people use gestures."
She has had to argue with employment agencies who thought she was only capable of basic work.
"I have the qualifications, I am capable of a lot more," she said. "Telephone work is a major part of office work in some roles, I agree, but there are facilities for deaf people to use a telephone.
"It's all very well having work, but when you sit in an office and no one utters a word to you because they either think you don't understand them or they are too embarrassed to try to talk about normal things, it felt as if I was incapable of having a normal life, going out, partying.
"Too many people are embarrassed about a deaf person not understanding them but, in fact, if they are more relaxed, they will find that we can understand more than you think, as long as you speak clearly and use gestures if it helps."
Bus drivers have asked Jannine to stand up or move back, and raised their voices when she can't hear them, causing everyone to stare. She worries in shops in case people have asked her something and think she is ignoring them, and people often ignore her and speak to John. Even her pregnancy has caused controversy.
She said: "People have commented on how I can look after a baby should it cry, and some of the comments have been quite offending, including 'am I fit to be a mother?'
"There is a lot of equipment to help a deaf parent, like vibration pads and pagers for hearing the baby cry, and being deaf does not affect how good I can be as a mother."
People have wondered out loud whether Jannine's baby will be deaf.
"In my opinion, whether our child is deaf or hearing, I intend to bring it up to treat people how he/she would like to be treated themselves, just as my parents have taught me.
"And what's more, it's not all bad being deaf - I get a decent night's sleep."
John, 20, was friends with Jannine before their relationship developed.
He learned sign language and mainly signs in SSE (Sign Supported English) which takes British Sign Language signs and forms them in to the order that they would be spoken.
He said: "Since being with Jannine, I have noticed how people can perceive the deaf community; some people are nice, others are not so nice. Some get apprehensive when they are unsure how to handle the situation.
"I do encourage those in the deaf community to voice the problems they face.
"I'm proud of Jannine, she handles life well. She is strong-willed and knows what she wants and if she believes something she'll fight for it.
"I love her very much and I'll always support her."
:: Facts and figures
For every 10,000 people,
ten are born profoundly deaf and use sign language to communicate
20 will become profoundly deaf, with difficulty communicating, even with hearing aids
600 will be hard of hearing, able to follow conversation with hearing aids
800 will be mildly hard of hearing, having difficulty in large groups and noisy situations
British Sign Language is the first or preferred language of around 70,000 people in the UK
About two million people in Britain wear hearing aids
Many combine signs from BSL with English in order to communicate
:: A poem, written by Jannine Coton
When they stare
When they stare,
Do they really care?
If I've heard what they say
Or do they look the other way ?
Can't you see?
I'm crying inside
I just want to be so much like you
Just so you can like me too
No other person
Can describe how I feel
Living in this silent world
This living nightmare so real
I know I'll never wake up
To find it all a dream
I know I appear to be happy
But nothing is ever as it seems
Updated: 09:59 Friday, May 06, 2005
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