JUST as you thought the General Election couldn't get any more exciting, a new political party throws its hat into the ring.

Or at least it would, if it weren't too much effort.

A man styling himself the Rt Hon Couch Potato LFB (which stands for lazy fat, er, basket) called to see the Diary twice at the end of last week. Which is more exertion than you'd expect from a man who has formed the York Apathy Party (YAP).

There are no Yappers standing in this election, as they never got round to it. So instead Mr Potato is urging voters to back another fringe (or should that be quiff?) candidate.

Clutching the TV remote control which never leaves his hand, he told us: "We have decided to throw our weight behind Milladdio's Integrity Party.

"This came about when we had an idea we were willing to agree on - to shut down all the keep fit clubs and turn them into tea and cake parlours with remote control television sets. They will specialise in serving vanilla slices.

"On an environmental note it should be made compulsory to return bath nights to Friday. Who can be bothered to wash every day? And think of all the electricity and water we could save."

Mr Potato and his (mysteriously absent) party faithful had their own plans for May 5.

"We were all going to go on holiday on election day but we never got round to buying the tickets."

Couch tells us he is definitely going to put up an Apathy Party candidate for the next City of York Council elections. But will it be possible to distinguish him from certain sitting members?

Meanwhile, he is considering joining forces with independent candidate Milladdio and his York Integrity Party. It would be a YIP-YAP pact.

And the Apathy Party slogan? "Maybe Later".

AT the York University hustings last week, Selby election candidates were asked to name their political heroes from another party.

John Grogan (Labour) chose Lloyd George; Mark Menzies (Tory) cheated by choosing Winston Churchill, the legendary Conservative leader, by pointing out he defected to the Liberals for a number of years.

And who did Liberal Democrat Ian Cuthbertson choose, when asked to name the greatest non-Liberal politician in British political history?

Er, William Hague.

NOT all the candidates are totally obsessed by the campaign, however. Green Party contender Andy D'Agorne was determined to spend some of yesterday not kissing babies, but in the York Festival, singing with the world music group Chechelele.

This York-based amateur choir "sing songs about harvesting and famine, love and death, sickness and war, slavery and emancipation, and women fighting about fish", according to their website www.chechelele.org.uk

After the performance Andy returned to the hustings at St Michael le Belfry, "after changing to more conventional attire".

FINALLY congratulations to esteemed colleague, crime reporter Chris Greenwood, who married Catherine down south at the weekend.

They had left a wedding list at John Lewis, and a few pals in the newsroom clubbed together to buy him a gift from it.

We are sure Chris's contacts at the cop shop and in York's criminal underworld will be thrilled to know that our man can now travel around the patch... snug in his "Muted Dress travel rug".

Updated: 10:07 Monday, May 02, 2005