EVERY pub has its comedian, but now a York hostelry has two.

Jones Mott (not his real name) has been holding monthly stand-up nights at Certificate 18 in Gillygate since December. He regales drinkers with his own skewed observations before opening the mike to the audience, allowing anyone with a funny tale the chance to tell it.

For the first time, this Monday's laugh-in will feature a routine from a second York funnyman, Randy Matthews. Jones tells Bar Talk that Randy once kept an RAF dinner in stitches for two hours.

Jones has put his humour to the ultimate test - in the bearpit known as the Comedy Store in London.

"It's interesting, but it's a bit brutal," he said.

"You get five minutes in front of an audience of 300. Three of them get a red card.

"If there's booing and heckling and all three cards go up you get gonged off by the compre.

"I lasted one minute 50 seconds."

It didn't help that the crowd of Londoners and foreign tourists struggled with his York accent.

The atmosphere at Certificate 18 is "much better, much friendlier".

Jones talks about "all kinds of everything" when on stage, and makes use of his almost encyclopaedic knowledge of pop music, blurting out song titles from 50 years of the charts "like I have got Tourette's".

His partner in comedy complements him well. "Randy's 90 per cent blue and ten per cent clean.

"I'm 90 per cent clean and ten per cent a bit blue."

Certificate 18's landlord David Jones is delighted by his beefed up comedy night. "It's great. We've got lots of people interested in performing and coming along to see it."

Welshman David worked in swanky cocktail bars in London's West End before marrying a York girl, Sarah, and moving up north. "Now I can see myself growing old here," he said.

The monthly comedy night is a small part of Certificate 18's live output. David's first love is music and he hosts many live bands at the pub.

Although not keen to tell any gags, he could be tempted to get up and strum his guitar.

"I am certainly not going to fill any stadiums," he confesses. "Unless it's a very small stadium filled with a lot of friends."

The comedy kicks off at Certificate 18 from 9pm on Monday. Admission free.

IT isn't everyone's cup of tea in these days of premium strength lagers and alcopops, but mild is a much-underrated drink.

The Campaign for Real Ale has commissioned some research for its annual May Mild month.

"Industry statistics show that in 1960 mild's share of the beer market was 60 per cent and that by 2000 mild production in the UK had declined to just three per cent," said CAMRA's marketing manager Georgie Rudman.

"However CAMRA decided to dig deeper and undertake a survey carried out by our members in conjunction with breweries which took place this January.

"The bottom line shows that although the market remains fairly static, there are now more varieties of mild being brewed than ever before, with 154 regularly available milds and 20 seasonal brews available in the UK."

Mild often has more flavour than stronger beers and you can drink more of it before falling over.

The best place to go mildly mad this May is our old favourite the Maltings. The Tanners Moat alehouse has more than 20 milds lined up for the month, including Black Mamba from Outlaw, Knaresborough (3.7 per cent ABV); Bateman's Dark (three per cent); Mauldon's Micawber (3.5 per cent); and Gun Powder from the Coach House Brewery in Warrington (3.8 per cent).

Updated: 09:00 Saturday, April 30, 2005