SEE that ever-expanding mountain of remote controls? You know, that pile that's threatening to snap your coffee-table as it gradually takes over your life?

There's the remote for your TV, the one for your VCR, the one for your DVD player and,, possibly, another for your sound system.

How would it feel if, for just £8, you could buy one little gadget that did away with practically the lot of them?

Because there is one, and it's heading our way from the good old United States.

There's just a slight catch.

What this gizmo does is turn the telly off, making the remotes redundant and forcing you to get on with your life.

The TV-B-Gone, as it is known, is the brainchild of American Mitch Altman, who came up with it after a night out with a group of friends who fell silent as, one by one, each became entranced by a TV in the corner of the restaurant.

Apparently, the sound wasn't even on; just the moving images on the silent telly were enough to kill the conversation dead.

Mitch's answer was to come up with a nifty gadget, discreet and key-ring sized. It is claimed it will turn almost any TV off within a 65ft radius.

It's been a roaring success; so much so that TV-B-Gones are doing quite a tidy trade on the Internet, and this week has been officially named International TV Turn-Off Week.

British anti-TV guerrillas are said to be joining this White Dot Movement by knocking tellies out of action in Dixons, Comets, Sainsbury's and Asdas across the land.

I suppose that's safe enough, but some brave souls are even supposed to be taking direct action by turning the blasted things off in pubs and restaurants, then going up to punters and saying: "I've just turned off the television - did you notice?"

I only hope the authorities have been given enough warning to put a disaster plan into place.

Casualty departments will need reinforcements to deal with the bloodbath; and the courts should be braced for an inevitable flood of murder and GBH trials.

Relate counsellors will be rushed off their feet helping couples to converse about something - anything. Hearing aid manufacturers will be inundated by inquiries from people who can't believe the world really is that quiet; and psychiatrists will have a queue of square-eyed people needing help to conquer their separation anxiety.

Still, there will be plenty of people inwardly cheering on the telly terrorists, and wishing those gizmos could disable fruit machines, juke boxes and mobile phones into the bargain.

Why stop there? I can't wait for someone to come up with a gadget to eradicate all my bugbears.

Zap! Mine would erase the shaven heads of all those men who are not genuinely bald.

Guys, don't you realise there's time enough to expose your skulls when it is forced upon you?

Kerpow! Away with that jet-lagged bird that starts the dawn chorus at 3am outside my bedroom window!

Kazam! Begone, all those slack-jawed, snickering, lolling and shuffling youths that make York's pavements look untidy and intimidating. And take your chewing-gum with you, while you're at it.

Shazam! The election has been and gone, and best of all, my wrinkles and flab have magically melted away.

Steady on, girl. There's a limit to what technology can do.

Updated: 09:45 Wednesday, April 27, 2005