I WAS down at the very bottom of my garden snatching some time between the showers to tend my runner beans.

The phone rang so I dashed inside. A refined woman told me her firm had just brought a new model out. It was excellent, a leader in its field, a bargain.

Only I, chosen from many, could have advantageous terms.

Could she put my name down for a home visit? It would cost me nothing.

"What are you selling, love?" I asked kindly.

Stannard stairlifts.

I said I was sorry but I live in a bungalow; there was a click and I smiled to myself.

Anyone else got a story to tell?

David Farr,

Mill Lane,

Wigginton, York.

Updated: 12:43 Saturday, April 16, 2005