YESTERDAY the Evening Press revealed how every attempt to bring lap dancing clubs to York had been rebuffed.

At first the Diary was confused. Why were the dancers of Lapland such a threat, when Pole dancers are happily practising their traditional choreography in at least one city gym?

It turns out we had got hold of the wrong end of the pole. Lap dancing clubs are those sleazy venues so favoured by Mafiosi in the movies.

If police and council officers are struggling to resist the flood of female flesh threatening our moral ramparts, they could seek help from another authority.

The Health & Safety Executive.

We are grateful to emailer Fravigar for pointing out that strict new laws have been introduced for anyone "working at height".

Some of these lap dancers wear two-storey stilettos and climb halfway to the ceiling during their more exotic routines. They have also been known to gyrate on elevated stages or on the top of the bar. (So we are told).

The law states that "every employer shall ensure that work is not carried out at height where it is reasonably practicable to carry out the work safely otherwise than at height".

But if that is not possible, bosses must "take suitable and sufficient measures to prevent, so far as is reasonably practicable, any person falling a distance liable to cause personal injury".

Lap dancing with safety nets? As Fravigar says: "Makes you wonder what risk assessments they will write."

MORE support comes in for Mike Hurley and his Hurley Burley show axed from the BBC Radio York airwaves by station boss Matt Youdale.

"I have been a Radio York listener for years but not any more," writes Mrs Cooper, of Yapham Road, Pocklington. "Who does this Matt Youdale think he is? Why doesn't he give a proper explanation?"

David Allison, also of Pocklington, has penned a limerick on the subject. It manages to combine Mike's character Bill Bore and Matt himself.

Bill Bore moans no more on a Saturday,

He used to amuse us till, latterly,

The station conspired

And William was fired.

(I think Mr Youdale went that-a- way).

THERE'S an election on, and yesterday was a big day for a certain Liberal Democrat who hopes to be returned as a North Yorkshire MP again next month.

"Phil Willis will formerly be adopted as the Liberal Democrat candidate for Harrogate and Knaresborough for the forthcoming General Election on Thursday," begins a press release.

"Formerly" be adopted? Shouldn't that be "formally", Phil? Still, it's easy for an ex-headteacher and Lib Dem education spokesman to get these things wrong.

COMPUTERS can be fun. Go to search engine google.co.uk, type in "liar" and hit the button saying "I'm Feeling Lucky".

What pops up? A biography of Tony Blair from the Number 10 website.

AFTER yesterday's canter through the kings who remarried before Charles and Camilla, a reader rings with another observation.

On the agreement we kept his name out of the paper, the York man told us: "In a museum in Paris is Edward VII's special chair, which was designed especially for his sexual preferences."

What these preferences were, we were not told. Lap dancing perhaps?

Updated: 09:33 Friday, April 15, 2005