A MESSAGE to a dog walker of the Walmgate area. As I walked home last night I had the misfortune to tread in the recently-evacuated product of your obviously huge animal.

Unbeknown to me it coated both my soles and as a result instead of going straight to bed I spent an hour washing both shoes and most of my hallway/living room carpet while evoking exceptionally loud and varied retributions upon you.

I must pause here to apologise to my immediate five neighbours for my furious thrashings while cleaning up.

The appalling smell has infected my mind. It is still in my head now as I write. You have ruined my weekend. How I wish I could catch up with you. I would gleefully rub your selfish, anti-social face in those doings and as an encore take a needle and thread to the offending animal's crevice.

Am I still angry? Guess!

Ken Pitcher,

Covent House,

George Street,

York.

Updated: 09:25 Tuesday, April 12, 2005