Taking on an allotment is not for the faint of heart - or those who fret about their nails.

First-time plotters Charlotte Percival and Haydn Lewis chart their stumbling progress.

Charlotte

UNTIL now, the only thing I've ever grown successfully is my nails - and they haven't been without their problems.

So when my family learned I was taking on an allotment with Haydn, they almost choked on their tea and biscuits: "What on earth are you going to do with an allotment? Do you even know what a spade is?" they chorused in disbelief.

"Of course," I replied. "We're going to grow potatoes, strawberries and lots of rhubarb for gran and granddad to make crumbles."

This was met with raised eyebrows - especially from my grandparents - before they all tried to teach me how far apart to plant my parsnips and how to treat the top soil.

I can honestly say I can't remember a word of their advice.

So it's just as well Haydn never feels more at home than when wearing his gardening gloves and is more than willing to teach my not-so-green fingers the ropes.

Tackling an allotment might not have been high on my list of priorities before, but I think the time has come to learn some skills; I'd like to be a girl who could bring basketfuls of fresh produce to family gatherings, tenderly grown and picked by my own hands.

And my little niece, Sophie, is already a fan of veggies at nine months old. How nice it would be to be able to grow her some fresh, nutritious food (even if she will be as old as me by the time we've grown anything).

Well, so far I've helped with the weeding, laughed at Haydn trying to water the bushes with a holey bucket and planted some garlic.

Granted, Haydn has done a lot more, but I can see our little weed-ridden plot flourishing with salad, fruit, and lots of sugar snap peas in no time. I wonder what my grandparents could cook with those.

Haydn

I CAN'T exactly remember who talked who into getting an allotment.

Something tells me that one night after a few too many, I may have let slip

to my sometime co-worker and now fellow allotment holder that I

enjoyed gardening.

Next sober moment it seemed we were scouring the council website for available plots close to work and subsequently on a bitterly cold and windswept day in early February standing looking down the length of the overgrown weed-strewn tangle we now affectionately call the lotty.

What I perhaps failed to mention to Charlotte then was that my experience of growing vegetables extended to growing tomatoes in my dad's greenhouse - and as everyone knows they are fruit anyway so I don't think that counts really.

So I suppose the time is ripe to confess that when it comes to the art of vegetable growing, I'm about as clueless - but perhaps not quite so - as Charlotte.

So at what stage do you imagine the thought struck home that taking on an overgrown allotment with the woman whose self-confessed experience of growing things extended to her nails was not such a good idea? Actually about the first time we agreed to meet up at lotty to get stuck in to some heavy duty weeding.

The text asking me if I minded putting back the start time by an hour to allow for an "eyebrow shaping" to be completed was, I think, the point when I saw the shape of things to come.

Any misgivings I may have harboured however soon evaporated as, forks at the ready, the pair of us both set to work.

Since then we have cleared ground and are now the proud owners of two red currant bushes, a gooseberry - and thanks to the generosity of a kind-hearted neighbour - a row of Mediterranean garlic.

The good life can't be far off, can it?

Top ten allotment tips for novices

1 Work backwards so you can't see how much weed-infested land you've still got to clear.

2 Invest in heavy duty gloves - and nail hardener for the girls.

3 Get to know your neighbours - they will be an invaluable source of help, advice and free seeds.

4 Take on half a plot rather than a full one; it's plenty to start with.

5 Find out if your allotment group offers a fee online newsletter with top tips.

6 See the plot before you sign up so you know what you're taking on.

7 Check out the council's website for available plots - www.york.gov.uk/leisure/allotments

8 Plant what you want to eat.

9 Check out what's right for the season - there's no point planting strawberries in the middle of a frost.

10 A problem shared is a problem halved - get a plot with a friend and make sure you've got a strong relationship before you start writing a column about it.

Updated: 16:22 Friday, April 08, 2005