MEN always say if you want to know what a girl is going to be like in years to come, look at her mother.

As I head closer to my thirties, I am becoming aware that, bit by bit, I am in fact turning into my mum. All those things she would say and do, which caused embarrassment during my stroppy teenage years, I am now mirroring in every way.

This is most evident when out shopping. I just can't help myself, but when leaving the till the words "thank you dear," come out of my mouth. As they hang in the air cartoon style, I know this is a phrase my mum uses regularly and I am conscious I sound like a patronising fool.

But this is my way of expressing my gratitude and is hopefully viewed by the recipient, male or female, as a warm gesture of thanks. However, are terms such as "dear" still deemed acceptable in the modern world?

With stories of women rebuking shop keepers and work colleagues for calling them "love" or "flower," and a reluctance to accept the opening of doors by the opposite sex, has the female fight for equality resulted in a down turn in chivalry?

London Underground this week announced that it intends to offer Baby on Board badges to pregnant women travelling on their service. The aim of the exercise is to try to encourage passengers to do the right thing and give up their seat for the expectant mother.

Personally, I find it incredible that a pregnant woman has to wear a badge in order to receive what is simple, common courtesy. Of course people should give up their seats for expectant mothers and the elderly; surely this is just normal Underground etiquette.

Sadly, having had to travel on the Tube from time to time, it doesn't happen. Instead people push and shove to make a beeline for the limited seating and then bury their heads in a book or magazine to avoid any personal interaction.

As a proud northerner, I always attributed this rude behaviour to the cynical nature of the hardened residents of the Big Smoke, but increasingly I am noticing a lack of courtesy in many different environments and circumstances.

As a child, courtesies were drummed in to me by my parents. I always had to ask permission to leave the table, when visiting a friend's house for tea it was always "thank you for having me," and when I'd eaten sufficient it was never "I'm full", but instead the words "I'm replete." I still don't know what it means, but it sounds good!

My point is that polite behaviour has been instilled in me from an early age and is an integral part of my character, but my fear is, in many cases, simple manners seem to be disappearing.

Germaine Greer once said: "If I'm sitting in a car I wouldn't want a man running round to the other side just to open the door for me unless my arm was in a sling."

I'm not ashamed to say that I'm a woman who wants everything. Yes, I want independence and equality and commend feminists everywhere for the positive impact they have made. But at the same time, I love doors to be opened in the old fashioned way and I'm sure I'm not the only one.

Maybe it's a romantic thing and perhaps I watched far too many Hollywood musicals as a child, but I'm just a sucker for chivalry.

In the fight against apathy, inconsiderate behaviour and disrespect, let's try to remember manners don't cost a thing. Surely you should do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Sophie McGill

The fee for this column is donated to the York City FC Youth Development Fund

Updated: 08:28 Saturday, March 12, 2005