"It's not normal - it's weird." My husband got a bit shirty on Friday night when I had a group of friends round for dinner.

I had organised a girls night in as it is commonly known to celebrate my 44th birthday and was looking forward to it.

I assumed my husband would make himself scarce. Not to leave the house, but sit and watch TV in another room. After all, this is what my friends' partners do when I go round to their homes. Either that or they go out for the night with their mates.

But no, he wasn't having any of it. He thought it a very odd arrangement and we ended up having an argument.

I reluctantly set a place at the table for him, but after a lot of huffing and puffing, he thankfully decided not to join us.

He needs educating about girls' nights. They are sacred to us females. We can't discuss the things we want to discuss with men present. Things such as women's health - what do men know about "the change", cellulite or smear tests?

Things like how it feels to be getting old and wrinkly when you still have a desire to go to night clubs, dance crazily for hours and snog your boyfriend in the corner. And, of course, other women - it's called bitching, and all females have degrees in it.

Subjects like home furnishings - I know it's boring but once you've got your own place things such as carpets and curtains - "Where did you get those Roman blinds?" - drift into the conversation with alarming regularity.

And, of course, the most important aspect of the conversation on girls' nights - MEN.

Males are always top of the agenda. Why we love them, why we hate them, but mostly whey they irritate us intensely but we can't live without them.

You wouldn't feel comfortable having a conversation such as that with your partner - or indeed any man - sitting at the table. In the same way, I wouldn't want to sit in the middle of a group of men discussing cars, football and women.

The worst thing is that my husband thinks I'm the only woman in Britain who thinks this way. That all other wives welcome their other halves on girlie nights. For pity's sake, I told him, they wouldn't be called "girlie" nights if they weren't exclusively geared to one sex.

To make me feel less "weird" and to convince him that girls' nights really do exist I have been on the lookout for evidence.

It quickly came in the form of a book on the subject, Girls Night In, or rather an article about the book. It gave tips as to how to hold the perfect girls' night, with hints such as play soothing music, avoid overhead lighting and wear comfy clothing. It does suggest pyjamas and slippers, which I would pass up (for teenagers, yes, but I don't want my friends seeing me in my Winciette nightie).

Most vitally, it said that the event "is about indulgence, fun, acceptance and bonding. It is not about guilt, competition and self-restraint."

All of these negative things would have been present at my little soiree had my husband positioned himself at the head of the table.

I've made my point.

Now I'm waiting for him to get invited on a lads' night out - I'll see how he reacts when I suggest I join him.

Updated: 10:32 Tuesday, February 08, 2005