IF while driving I am stopped by the police and they notice I have no water in my windscreen washer, or my headlights or number plates are obscured by mud, and they give me a fixed penalty of £30, then I've asked for it.

But to ask me to stand on one leg as a drugs test takes the biscuit - especially when I have to sit down to put my trousers on.

Standing on one leg is for ballet dancers, flamingos and storks.

Ken Holmes,

Cliffe Common,

Selby.

Updated: 08:47 Monday, January 03, 2005