LIKE a flat pack, the Grand Opera House pantomime is assembled in next to no time and somehow just about holds together and does the job without a nod to fashion.
This is the show that comes without a credit for either a writer or set designer, as if it were put together with the wave of a magic wand.
In truth, it is more practical than that: director Simon Barry calls upon a quick-fix Cinderella cast that has worked together for the past two winters. Indeed, Filipa Jeronimo's programme notes tell us she "looks forward to her first season here in Torquay".
Torquay, York, what's the difference? Not a lot alas, but unquestionably there is well-worn teamwork between the principals, bolstered in big style by the addition of radiant Jane Omorogbe, a former Gladiator as striking as her surname.
Her lovely, perky Fairy Godmother does commit one cardinal pantomime sin, making her first exit to the villain's side of the stage, but in every other way she hits the heights (well, she is 6ft 2), and thankfully she ignores her past as Gladiator Rio.
Jane now presents TV shows on biking, and she certainly has all the boys revved up and wishing to join her on The Sunny Side Of The Street.
She wholly overshadows Filipa Jeronimo's wan Cinderella, and were it not for Filipa being a far superior singer, it may have been apt to flip over the roles.
Filipa's abused Cinderella looks suitably put upon, but never mind put upon, she needs to put on a few pounds. Hair scraped back, cheekbones jutting out, she looks too gaunt (although the official ghost scene does not come until the second half).
She does, however, sing like her life depends upon it, especially in her impassioned duets with Jason Lee Scott's romantic-voiced Prince Charming.
Scott's Prince, with his boy-band haircut, has the young girls cheering. Meanwhile, taller, more conventionally handsome, TV presenter Tim Vincent has stepped out of a New York television studio into an old York theatre, smoothly negotiating the chicanes of commercial panto as a dandy Dandini. Your mum will love him.
Trinny and Susannah will want to get their hands on The Ugly Sisters, Richard Cawley's Buttercup and Richard Westcott's Daisy, who provide a (fashion) show within a show, their haughty couture designed as if Vivienne Westwood were kitting out Mae West. Stand back for fabulous costumes, fabulous flouncing and jokes as old as York's walls.
Paul Parris's Buttons is a cheeky Cockernee chappie with the voice of EastEnders' Ian Beale but a far happier disposition. "Can he fix it," he keeps asking in Bob The Builder vein.
Bob the Builder, or whoever, has fixed the sets (much brighter this year) but could he or Simon Barry please fix the following fault for future years: tired-as-Paula Radcliffe jokes and lazy mentions of The X-Factor and Little Britain must be replaced by proper topical material and real splish-splash slapstick.
Cinderella, Grand Opera House, York, until January 2. Box office: 0870 606 3595.
Updated: 11:23 Thursday, December 09, 2004
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