THE onset of the festive season brings with it the seasonal seduction that is the office party.

And while the Diary has yet to receive as much as a cold shoulder from an amorous colleague, it seems we are very much in the minority in York.

According to York bar and canteen Ha! Ha!, nearly half of people surveyed in the city have kissed a work colleague, while a further 20 per cent of us have dated a work mate.

How did these fledgling romances get off the ground? More than half of people asked cited the office Christmas party.

Ha! Ha! claims that half of single men admitted also they were hoping for a close encounter with someone at work.

At Ha! Ha! they positively encourage this kind of thing. The bar chain has started a dedicated flirt phone line giving tips on how to seduce a secret crush through the party season.

It has also created a special aphrodisiac Christmas menu which, it claims, "when consumed creates the flushed appearance of sexual excitement". All this from ginger and tiger prawns.

The Diary has had a number of curries containing these two key ingredients, and we can assure you that love was the last thing on our minds!

NEW research by Dunlop Tyres says York's motorists are using animal instincts when it comes to coping with today's transport jungle.

While you all thought you were just driving about, you were in fact mimicking the wild in your ways on the road.

And which animal are York drivers most likely to behave like? An elephant. Dr David Lewis, the psychologist behind the phrase "road rage", says there are five driver personalities - Panthers, Elephants, Gorillas, Peacocks and Gazelles.

And if the Elephant doesn't sound that exciting, it's because it isn't. Far from speeding about with the wind in our hair, we are, apparently, more likely to put comfort and security first when navigating sticky traffic spots.

The city displays the fewest number of gorillas, who barge through traffic and dominate the road with metal muscle.

We'll bet Dr Lewis has never been out on the inner ring road during a rush hour.

A SHOP on one York street looks like it is housing a corner of Royston Vasey.

Are they a friendly bunch at Pictures And Things on Burton Stone Lane?

Or is something more sinister lurking behind the doors of the framing shop?

We don't know if they've ever seen The League Of Gentlemen, but the big white letters engraved in a window above the door saying "A local shop for local people" were enough to keep the Diary away.

There's nothing for us there.

DOMINATING the Evening Press a hundred years ago was a scandal of epic proportions.

The Press reported that during 1904 "there has been an increase in the number of post-cards, principally of foreign manufacture, sent by post bearing pictorial designs of an objectionable and in some cases indecent character".

City letter writers were reminded that any postcard which showed a bit of thigh, or were otherwise deemed to be risqu, could land them a 12-month stretch.

We're already cleaning out the desk.

Updated: 09:19 Monday, December 06, 2004