Standing up to the bullies

"I am the person you bullied at school.

I am the person who didn't know how to be cool.

I am the person that you alienated.

I am the person you ridiculed and hated.

I am the person who sat on his own.

I am the person who walked home alone.

I am the person you scared every day.

I am the person who had nothing to say."

THOSE words will strike a chord with anyone who was bullied at school.

The poem 'I am', written by a victim of bullying, is to be the centrepiece of a new Government anti-bullying campaign launched this week. The words to the poem will be read, line-by-line, by some of our sporting and music heroes.

Whoever would have believed that Rio Ferdinand, Audley Harrison, Kelly Holmes and Natasha Bedingfield were bullied at school? Hopefully, the video in which they will be appearing on TV throughout the week will make victims of bullying realise they are not alone.

According to Angela Dracup, former educational psychologist turned teen novelist, one of the most awful aspects of being bullied is the shame it brings. That is why young victims are often reluctant to come forward. "People don't want to be identified as a victim," says Angela, from Harrogate.

So the idea of using popular sporting heroes to drive home the anti-bullying message is a good one, she says. "Usually children and young adults identify with celebrities. And for them to say it happened to them, they were bullied - it shows it is not such a shaming thing after all."

This week is the UK's first Anti Bullying Week. The Government has joined BBC Radio 1 and the Anti-Bullying Alliance for a week-long programme of events and activities at schools across the country.

Youngsters are being urged to wear anti-bullying wristbands to show they are determined together to beat bullying and to support friends who are being targeted, and schools are being urged to sign up to an anti-bullying Charter For Action.

The aim of the week is to raise awareness about bullying, and to promote anti-bullying strategies and new approaches to tackling the problem, such as using text messaging to report bullying and peer mentor schemes where young people can support each other.

At Canon Lee School in York, older pupils in years 9, 10 and 11 volunteer act as peer supporters or mentors to younger children. They visit their form groups once a week and make themselves available during break times. The mentors receive training in how to listen and offer advice, and youngsters who are being bullied often find it easier to approach them than a teacher.

"When it is someone nearer to their own age, it is easier for them to talk," says Natasha, a 14-year-old Year 10 pupil at the school who offers peer support to younger Year 7s.

"If a teacher is involved, they the bullies can say you've grassed, you've told the teacher," adds 15-year-old Hayley, another mentor. "That doesn't happen if they come to us."

Hayley was bullied when she was younger and knows what it is like. In her case, it was mainly name-calling. "It was just the way I looked. People used to say I was fat or something. It was usually a group, and it gets you down."

Sometimes, says Natasha, the younger children will chat to mentors in their form group or at break. "Sometimes they come up to us crying." Her job is to listen, offer advice and, if she thinks the matter is serious, to approach a teacher, although only if the victim of bullying agrees. "If they ask us to keep it confidential, we will do so," Natasha says.

The scheme has been running at Canon Lee School for five years and is spreading to other schools in York. Headteacher Kevin Deadman says it is proving a success.

"If you are being bullied, it is terrible," he says. "The peer supporters are in various places about the school, in form or in the courtyard, and students know they can go up to them and talk to them.

"They can offer advice, or they can act as a go-between to pass information on. It is another way of getting information through to us quickly, and it is paying off. It means we can find out about bullying and we can deal with it."

Peer support is only one way in which local schools are tackling bullying. Generally, schools devise their own bullying strategies. Some primary schools have introduced 'buddy benches' in the playground where children can sit if they are feeling upset or lonely. The idea is that other youngsters will notice and talk to them about whatever is bothering them.

Carr Junior School, at Acomb, has a policy of watching for signs of bullying, then monitoring pupils who have been bullied and the pupils who bully. Sometimes teachers will also mediate, bringing bullies and the bullied together to talk through the problem, a process that generally works well says headteacher Gordon Rusk.

Schools in York are issued with confidential questionnaires for pupils to fill in, which enable the city council to keep track of bullying trends. If there is a problem at a particular school, it will show up and the school can be asked to address it, says the city council's principal education officer Mark Ellis. The questionnaires also enable schools to keep up with new developments, such as the rise of text and email bullying.

While bullies may be keen to make use of technology, bullying is nothing new. It is part of life, says Gordon Rusk. "It is not just in schools that it happens: it happens in the workplace too," he says.

Angela Dracup, who used to work with young bullies, says bullying is partly about power. Often children who become bullies lack a strong sense of themselves, she says. Perhaps they are ignored or mistreated at home, and made to feel worthless.

"So bullying is a way of getting at somebody less powerful than them, and exerting their own power over them. It is quite a thrilling feeling, to have power over someone, being able to manipulate them."

One of the difficulties schools have in tackling bullying is knowing just when someone really is being bullied. What one young child perceives as bullying, another may see simply as asserting themselves, admits Gordon Rusk.

"The child being labelled as a bully might perhaps not see themselves as a bully, but just someone who wants their own way. They might be someone who wants to take the throw-in all the time," he says.

Most experts agree that the key to tackling bullying is to bring it out into the open and encourage a climate in which youngsters feel free to tell someone if they are being bullied. That is Kevin Deadman's message to his own pupils. "Do not keep it to yourselves," he says. "Bring it out into the open. You can speak to people and something can be done."

The same applies if it is a friend being bullied, adds Gordon Rusk. "If you have a friend who is having difficulty, you can help them by letting us know."

York staged an anti-bullying workshop at the Guildhall yesterday afternoon to tie in with Anti-Bullying Week. North Yorkshire is planning to hold two conferences, one for primary schools and one for secondary schools, in Harrogate on December 1 and December 6.

How to get to grips with bullying

Wear a blue bracelet

Anti-bullying campaigners are hoping the anti-bullying wristbands being launched this week will serve as a potent symbol for those committed to stamping out bullying.

England footballer Rio Ferdinand will urge youngsters to wear the wristbands in the new 'I am' video being screened this week.

"Bullying creates misery for thousands of children," says Schools Minister Stephen Twigg. "It is crucial that they know that they are not alone. We want all young people to 'make a stand and wear a band'. Wearing the band will give young people the opportunity to make a visible commitment that they are not prepared to tolerate bullying and will stand by their friends."

What forms bullying takes

Encountering a bully can make for one of the most difficult times in a child's school life. Bullying can be defined as deliberately hurtful behaviour, repeated over a period of time, where it is difficult for those being bullied to defend themselves.

The three main types of bullying are:

Physical (hitting, kicking, theft)

Verbal (name calling, racist remarks)

Indirect (spreading rumours, excluding someone from social groups).

Signs to watch out for

Parents and families are often the first to detect symptoms of bullying, although sometimes school nurses or doctors may first suspect that a child has been bullied.

Common symptoms, according to The Parent Centre, a Government-supported organisation for parents or carers who want to help their children learn, include headaches, stomach aches, anxiety and irritability.

It can be helpful to ask about progress and friends at school; how break times and lunchtimes are spent; and whether your child is facing problems or difficulties at school. You should trust your instincts if your child is acting out of character at home and contact the school immediately.

Need help?

Parents concerned about their children can call the Parentline helpline for advice on 0808 800 2222. Children and young adults who are being bullied, or who have a friend who is being bullied, can contact Childline on 0800 1111.

Updated: 09:14 Tuesday, November 23, 2004