THE premiere of one-man football show Gaffer! is attracting a knowledgeable crowd to York Theatre Royal.

Last week Peter Taylor, coach of England's Under-21 team, watched the play. And the York City squad are also set to be invited.

But tonight is a real coup for Gaffer! Who is going along to the theatre to take in a bit of culture between matches? Only the league champions, that's who.

No, not Arsenal. That ramshackle lot from London wouldn't know an electric piece of theatre if it landed on the penalty spot.

We're talking about the Yorkshire Terriers, the region's top gay football team who underlined their sporting dominance by storming to the title in the GFSN National League, Britain's first 11-a-side football league for gay players.

One of the themes of Gaffer!, starring Deka Walmsley as an old fashioned club manager, is homophobia in football.

"The Yorkshire Terriers have known about the play for quite a long time," said Theatre Royal public relations officer Duncan Clarke. "They're all really interested in watching it."

The Terriers are based in Leeds, and arrange kickabouts when they are not playing league matches.

"Twelve of them are coming - that's the whole team plus a substitute," said Duncan.

Gaffer! runs until Saturday night. So if you fancy rubbing shoulders with football's elite, call the box office for tickets on (01904) 623568.

PARLIAMENTARY candidate Eddie Vee has already had his say on the letters page. But this has turned out not to be the last word on the subject of the worst song ever recorded from the Official Monster Raving Loony Party (York branch).

"May I remind your readers that the Official MRLP shall, when in power, change the national anthem to The Funky Gibbon," John Morris, honorary secretary, informs us. "This pledge is in our manifesto which can be seen at www.omrlp.com."

IN this column the other week, Richard Stansfield recalled his father telling him that St Peter's and Archbishop Holgate Schools held a rugby match to decide which was the older. "Richard Stansfield's father had a good, but not perfect, memory," emails Avril Pedley, the St Peter's School archivist.

"The rugby match which he recalled was played against King's School, Canterbury, another 'oldest school' contender.

"In 1927, at the end of our 1,300th year, St Peter's 1st XV rugby team undertook a London tour, in which they played King's School, Canterbury, in a special match at the Rectory Field, Blackheath RUFC, to decide the issue. St Peter's won the match 13-9."

Thank you, Avril. We note that you are cheerfully clinging to the notion that St Peter's lineage began in 627AD, despite evidence presented by the Diary challenging this assumption.

And we have unearthed some more: "The date of the foundation of St Peter's School is a controversial issue with antiquarians," recorded the Evening Press in December 1954. "A school was founded in York in 627 which some say was St Peter's but other authorities say that the foundation was not until 1557."

AFTER watching a bulletin from CBBC show Newsround, five-year-old Kit Tipping dashed upstairs to see his father, Evening Press photographer and wine writer Mike.

"Dad! Dad!" he exclaimed. "They're going to ban dogs in England and Wales!"

Updated: 09:11 Tuesday, November 23, 2004