"Where's your Socrates?" There are some things that you never expect to hear on a Novem-ber afternoon in Garforth. But then it really was one of those days.

Tadcaster Albion, gunning for three points over their top-of-the-table rivals in Northern Counties East League division one, found themselves swallowed up in a frenzied media circus as one of the world's greatest ever footballers arrived at Wheatley Park fresh from an appearance at Meadowhall to play his first game of football since "I can't remember when".

The "just another game" philosophy of Albion's York-born boss Jim Collis faded into the distance with t-shirts on sale around the ground and the players having to fight their way out of the tunnel through the scrum of cameras. The bemused look on Collis's face said it all.

The third son of a Greek philosophy lover looked some way short of the feted early 80s World Cup icon when he came on. His plump frame contradicted the bold claims that he had retained his svelte figure despite his 50 years of age and continued 30-a-day smoking habit.

But his first touch - a 20-yard thunderbolt at the Tadcaster goal - showed exactly why more than 1,350 had braved the literally freezing conditions. And in the agonising minutes that followed - agonising in a painful-to-watch kind of way - it was clear why it was just 12 minutes as he puffed and wheezed and looked, frankly, like he might throw up.

A frenetic first half with Garforth keen to show off their slick Futebol de Salao moves and glue-like control saw The Brewers sucker-punched with two goals. The impressive Andy Rowan lobbed keeper Tom Ryder and on the stroke of half time, a slightly dubious free-kick was headed down by Nick Manousios and Gavin Birmingham volleyed it past Ryder.

But then Tadcaster turned the table with some visionary one-touch play and carved Garforth apart.

Midfielder Paul James dodged past three defenders before being clipped in the box on 54 minutes for Alan Jackson to smash the ball into the net from the spot.

Just three minutes later, Jackson crossed virtually from the corner flag and Ward made the slightest of touches at the back post to send the vocal Taddy support - and the bench - absolutely wild.

Tragedy almost struck in the 76th minute when Ryder pulled down the tricky Rowan on the edge of the box. But, with Socrates delayed from entering the action to take the spot-kick having left his shin-pads in the changing room, it was left to Greg Kelly. And Ryder saved it.

Collis said: "I thought it was a good game. I don't know if we deserved to win but we didn't deserve to get beat either.

"It was a bit of a shame seeing Socrates how he was but it did create a brilliant atmosphere."

Garforth Town boss Simon Clifford conceded that Collis's pre-match label of 'farce' was understandable and said the result was the best for all concerned. He quickly promised not to indulge in another stunt for at least two years before adding that he no longer stood by his prediction of Premiership football by 2028. "We'll be there before then," he stated.

Albeit without this particular past-it Brazilian legend.

Updated: 10:04 Monday, November 22, 2004