HOW many beers could you fit in the tiny Blue Bell? Ten? Fifteen?
"We've got 26 different beers, plus seven of my own on the bar," reveals landlord Jim Hardie.
"That's 33 beers in the smallest pub in York. It's a complete logistical nightmare."
But it's an ale-lover's dream. One of the 26 specials at the York pub's fourth beer festival is a favourite with the regulars: the award-winning Orkney Dark Island (4.6 per cent ABV).
It will take pride of place among a selection of similar-hued beers in the bar being run by Dale Hurton. "We're calling it Dale's Dark Den," said Jim.
The remaining 25 are all brand new to the pub - and to most drinkers.
They enjoy a special sense of humour at the Blue Bell and this can be seen in Jim's selection of beers.
Britain's smallest barman Graham Hughes, 3ft 11ins tall, will be in the thick of things again. In previous years he has been renamed Boozy, the eighth dwarf forgotten in the Snow White stories, and has pulled pints of White Dwarf.
And this year? Jim has ordered in a brew called Little Tosser...
Elsewhere, two women have been given the task of serving Village Bike among other brews.
Most of the beers are medium strength, with the strongest on offer Old Stoatwobbler from Norfolk, weighing in at six per cent.
The beer festival will take place tomorrow and Monday. As in previous years Fossgate will be closed to traffic tomorrow, bringing a carnival atmosphere to the street.
What Jim calls "a tented village" will spring up, complete with heaters to keep the November chill at bay.
Jim is expecting a lot of regulars, plus some visitors from farther afield. "People are coming from Scarborough's CAMRA branch," he said. "And one guy comes from America each year."
The Blue Bell, named Fundraising Pub of the Year in 2003, is continuing its charitable traditions. Jim hopes the tombola will raise £1,000 for York Guide Dogs For The Blind.
There's a barbecue, and the York Philharmonic Choir are hoping to perform. So that's Sunday sorted then.
AND we have got next weekend's entertainment all fixed up too.
The Black Sheep Brewery Victorian Christmas Fair boasts mulled wine, mince pies, roasted chestnuts, Santa's Grotto, a children's entertainer and more than 30 stalls.
The event is set in the picturesque stone-built brewery in the old Dales market town of Masham.
Alongside the brewery will be a huge marquee, which will house the many and varied stalls of crafts and curios with a wide range of gift items ranging from local food and produce to handmade soaps, jewellery, pottery and Christmas decorations.
To add to the Christmas spirit there will be the sweet smell of roasted chestnuts, mulled wine to keep you warm as well as the full range of Black Sheep's ales.
The Victorian Christmas Fair costs £2 for adults, £1 for seniors and children under 16 go free. It is on from Thursday November 18 to Sunday November 21 from 10am each day.
Santa will be at the brewery on Thursday and Friday between 2pm and 3pm; and on Saturday and Sunday from 11am to noon and 2pm to 3.30pm (even Santa needs a lunchbreak).
LAST week we put two copies of A Directory of York Pubs up for grabs and the heavyweight reference book attracted dozens of entries.
Bar Talk is pleased to announce that Mr M Dickenson, of Woodthorpe, and R Hutchinson, of Manor Park Close, York, are the lucky winners.
The answer was of course that author Hugh Murray has lovingly gathered 1,340 entries in the book, which includes all of the pubs and bars in York from 1455 to the present day.
We may have mentioned this already, but it's available at a handful of bookshops in the city, including Ken Spelman in Micklegate, as well as the Three Cranes in St Sampson's Square.
BAR Talk asked entrants to mention their favourite pub in our circulation area and the results make for fascinating reading with more than 25 names cropping up.
Predictably, real ale favourites the Maltings, the Minster Inn and the Blue Bell all score well, with York Brewery's relative newcomer the Last Drop Inn proving popular as well.
But there are a wealth of others recommended too, from the trendy Ha Ha Bar in New Street to Nunnery Lane's Trafalgar Bay Inn and the St Vincent Arms in Sutton On Derwent.
Finally, thank you John Tiplady of Wigginton for claiming that The Angler's Arms remains your favourite alehouse - being renamed The Snickleway Inn in 1994 clearly hasn't affected your drinking pleasure.
Updated: 16:43 Friday, November 12, 2004
Comments: Our rules
We want our comments to be a lively and valuable part of our community - a place where readers can debate and engage with the most important local issues. The ability to comment on our stories is a privilege, not a right, however, and that privilege may be withdrawn if it is abused or misused.
Please report any comments that break our rules.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article