Two's company and three's a crowd, but is one fun? JO HAYWOOD investigates the highs and lows of the single life.

IT'S all very well being on your Bridget Jones (alone - geddit?) if you're Renee Zellweger, but what if you're just an ordinary mortal without a home in the Hollywood hills and a savings account that would put a Swiss bank to shame? Is being single so swinging then?

Elli Course, 23, who is press and bookings co-ordinator at York Minster, is a fan of the single life. She has been on her own for two years and she likes it that way.

"I enjoy the freedom of being single," she said. "I can do what I like when I like without having to clear it with anyone else.

"It's also great because you don't have to curb your eccentricities either. You can sing in the supermarket if you want and no one is going to groan or get embarrassed."

Elli admits to being "very stupid" when it comes to love, walking on air far too quickly in a relationship before falling back down to earth with an uncomfortable bump. Which probably explains why she's not in a hurry to become part of a couple again.

"I'm not actively looking for anyone at all," she said. "I'm a Christian and it's important to me that whoever I eventually go out with is a Christian too. I'll just leave it up to God I suppose."

Some of her friends certainly fit into what Bridget Jones describes in her well-thumbed diary as the 'smug marrieds' category (they're loved up and don't mind letting it show), but she's in no rush to join them.

"I still feel quite young," she said, "and I certainly don't hear the ticking of any biological clocks. I'm just going to enjoy myself and see what happens."

Her friend and housemate, Jess Fisher, is also single now after her seven-year relationship came to an end. She had been part of a couple since she was 16, so her new-found singleton status came as a bit of a shock.

"It was a very strange and very new experience at first," said the 24-year-old administrator with York's Riding Lights Theatre Company, "but now I can see that it's quite liberating. I have much more freedom now and I'm making the most of it."

She and her boyfriend had a long-distance relationship and spent hours on the phone almost every night. Even when she was out with her friends she would worry about getting back in time to give him a call. Now, however, she can stay out as long as she likes.

"At first all you can see are these long, lonely hours stretching ahead of you," said Jess. "But then you realise that they are hours you didn't have before and that they are yours to do what you want with.

"I can honestly say I feel a lot more confident now. If you have someone to fall back on all the time, you will. When there is no one else around, you have to stand on your own two feet. In that respect I think it's done me good."

For many singles, birthdays, Christmas, New Year and Valentine's Day can prove stressful. This could easily have been the case with Jess, especially as her birthday is on Valentine's Day, but she has managed to beat a hasty retreat from the blues by getting herself organised.

She spent the New Year with her family, made sure she was surrounded by friends on her birthday and is planning to spend Christmas with her brother and his family.

"I'm very close to my family, which always helps," said Jess. "They're all married though, which means they sometimes seem like the grown-ups while I'm still the sullen teenager."

She admits missing having someone to cuddle up with and would like another serious relationship at some point in the future, but, for the moment, she is happy living the single life.

"I don't really have a big plan any more. It might not sound it, but I think that's a good thing," Jess concluded. "There was a time when my main aim in life was to get married and have kids. Now I realise there are loads of things I want to do before I settle down.

"The breakdown of a relationship is not much fun, but becoming single again can really set you free."

Bridget Jones: The Edge Of Reason, starring Renee Zellweger, Colin Firth and Hugh Grant, opens on Friday, November 12 and is previewing at Vue, the Odeon and City Screen, York

Let Bridget be your role model for a more contented life

IF you want to be a goddess of inner poise, choose weight-obsessed, self-helping singleton Bridget Jones as your role model.

This is the surprising advice from Donna Freitas, author of Becoming A Goddess Of Inner Poise, who says we should dump lofty, unrealistic ideals in favour of someone more down to earth.

"Bridget struggles to attain what she calls 'inner poise' throughout both her diaries," she said.

"By looking at her character, we learn that achieving inner poise is not about steeling ourselves against the world as if we are almighty, distant god-like figures but about discovering the messier side of the divine: a goddess that feels, cares, yearns, grieves and knows when life calls for laughter."

Becoming a goddess is never easy, so here are a few tips from every modern gal's favourite diarist...

Pick up a pen

According to life coach Claire Beecroft, keeping a journal can be good for your health.

"It's a great way of offloading all the clutter from your mind," she said. "You can express yourself without worrying about your reputation.

"It can also take the brunt of your frustrations, and won't ever get tired of listening to you.

"If you write down what you really want and figure out the reasons why, you're much more likely to be successful in living a life with balance and fun."

Laughter is the best medicine

Bridget's colourful diary entries range from the mundane (which pants to wear) to the sublime (the pros and cons of feminism), but Freitas suggests it is the way she tells'em that is key.

"She articulates the identity struggles of women in a very funny manner, helping her audience face ambiguity with a grin rather than as if we are tragic spinsters," she said. "A good giggle can literally pull us out of despair and make the world look bright again."

Socialising is good for the soul

Being a diarist is a solitary exercise, so boost its therapeutic value by enjoying regular nights out with friends to chew the fat over life's ups and downs.

"As a singleton, it is free-form friendship rather than family or religion that is Bridget's sustaining force," said Freitas.

"It is through shared ritual that our spiritual lives become connected to those we love, turning the conversations that occur over dinner into vehicles through which the sacred significance of our connections becomes apparent."

Be yourself

"Bridget completely embraces life even if that means making a fool of herself," said Freitas. "She's open-minded and forever looking at new ways to become a better version of herself. She doesn't try to be something she's not."

Which, to quote the dippy diarist herself, "is a v gd idea indeed."

Updated: 11:58 Tuesday, November 09, 2004