FIRST the United Kingdom Independence Party loses the services of that most lucid statesman Robert Kilroy-Silk.

Now comes the devastating news that another highly sophisticated political operator may soon step down.

Godfrey Bloom, UKIP's Yorkshire MEP who enraged feminists everywhere with his quips about how women should clean behind the fridge, has told the Diary he has no intention of remaining a politician for long. "I never intended to ever stand more than once," he said. "I've been told never say never in politics. But I do have a real job."

One reason may be the cost. The financial broker, who lives near Selby, told the Evening Press back in June that he couldn't live on an MEP's £57,000 salary. Now he has revealed that his election campaign cost him £30,000.

Not the £2 billion spent by John Kerry and George Bush in America, certainly. But a fair sum nonetheless.

"If you cannot write some big cheques you don't have a prayer, which means that the system always throws up the same people.

"Why else is it that all politicians are white, male, middle class?" says Bloomers, the well-known young, black lesbian.

FORMER Evening Press scribe and York City fanatic Robert Beaumont has been pushed to the brink by the team's recent results.

As a form of therapy, he has assembled his Worst Ever City XI.

Perhaps this is not the most positive contribution to the team's plight, but it will certainly get the diehards debating.

Only players from after 1971 - when Robert was bitten by the Bootham Crescent bug - are eligible. Here is his team...

Warrington, Cooper R, Sertori, Clarke, Smith S; Skinner, Groves, Woodward, McGhie, Tilley, Kitching. Subs: Crichton, Basham, Hobson, Atkin, Barrett. Manager: Wilf McGuinness (by a short bald head from Bobby Saxton and Chris Brass).

More nominations from exasperated City fans welcome.

SELBY MP John Grogan has taken a pummelling on our letters page about his expense account. How come he needs such large allowances compared to other northern MPs, our correspondents ask?

We may have the answer. Last week found our John in confessional mood in the Commons chamber.

"I am a gambler. I love gambling. I love the thrill of being beside the rails at a race track cheering my horse home or tearing up my betting slip in frustration.

"I love going to casinos to play roulette and I love going to Walker's bingo hall in Selby..."

At which point he had to dash off to watch the 3.40 at Kempton Park.

THE Diary stumbled upon some old Yorkshire proverbs t'other day. They were listed in Yorkshire Folklore, a journal from 1888.

See how many you can drop into casual conversation tomorrow...

"As blake as a paigle"

"As threng as Thrap's wife when shoo henged hersel in her garters"

"A man mud as weel heyt the divil as the broth at he's boiled in"

"As nimble as a cow in a cage"

"Attorneys' haases are built atop a't heeads o'fooils"

OUR story about the man whose burglar alarm was disconnected by the council for the moderate fee of £370 made national radio last week.

Alas Steve Wright In The Afternoon had forgotten his reading spectacles. The Radio 2 DJ referred to this lofty organ as the Yorkshire Evening Express.

Updated: 09:52 Monday, November 08, 2004