JO HAYWOOD talks to Joanne Heywood (bizarre, but true), the panto principal boy who has found her own Prince Charming.
WHEN is a boy not a boy? When she's a bride. Okay, it's not exactly a gag worthy of Dame Berwick Kaler, but it's not bad for starters (oh, yes it is).
York actress Joanne Heywood, who has starred in six pantomimes at the Theatre Royal with Dame B, is thigh-slappingly happy at the moment as she prepares for her wedding at Holy Trinity Church in Heworth on Saturday.
Not only is she marrying the man of her dreams, but she's also getting the opportunity to wear a dress for a change.
"I love being a boy in panto," she said. "But it will be nice to be a girl at my wedding."
York's favourite principal boy made her professional debut at the Theatre Royal in Jack And The Beanstalk in 1985.
She has appeared in productions of Neil Simon's The Odd Couple, as Cecily Pigeon; Shakespeare's Romeo And Juliet, as Lady Capulet; and Kate Atkinson's Behind The Scenes At The Museum, as Patricia. But it is her energetic exploits in such parts as Dandini in Cinderella, the title role in Dick Whittington and Jack in Jack And The Beanstalk, that have won her the hearts of York's legions of panto fans.
Born and bred in the city, Joanne (real name Wood) moved to Enfield two years ago. She met the love of her life, Pete Morris, within days, thanks to an unreliable builder.
"This builder was supposed to be coming to my new house to knock a wall down," she said. "Predictably, however, he didn't turn up.
"I saw a chap with a van a couple of doors away. For some reason I assumed he was a builder and, in a moment of blind panic, I rushed up and asked him if he'd knock my wall down.
"It turned out he actually fitted garden decking and fences, but he was so lovely that I took his card anyway."
Joanne wanted to ask Pete out, but couldn't pluck up the courage. Luckily, fate intervened once again.
An overnight storm ripped part of her garden fence out of the ground, giving her the perfect excuse to call him.
He agreed to call round to give her a quote, but nearly left with a flea in his ear and a handful of sweets in his pocket.
"I'd forgotten it was Hallowe'en," said Joanne. "I opened the door and there was a chap there surrounded by children saying 'trick or treat'. I almost shut the door in his face."
From that night on, she knew he was the one for her. But, as the saying goes, the course of true love never runs smooth.
She left for a long run in panto at York Theatre Royal without having the chance to see him again. But she thought about him every day. And, on her return, she left him a long, rambling answer-phone message along the lines of "I know you're probably happily married, but..."
He wasn't (happily or otherwise) and their relationship began in earnest. Pete proposed three months later while standing in the sea watching a Caribbean sunset. She refused.
He asked again four months later over dinner in a luxury Venice hotel. This time, she said yes.
After a hectic year of planning, booking and buying, the couple are now looking forward to finally becoming Mr and Mrs Morris on Saturday.
This is good news for them, but not quite so good for York's panto fans. Joanne's long honeymoon in the Maldives makes her unavailable for thigh-slapping duties at the Theatre Royal this year.
"York has always been special to me because it's my home town and because I did my first show at the Theatre Royal when I was about three or four," she said. "I'll really miss doing panto this year, but I think I've got a pretty good excuse."
She hopes to be back on board with Berwick at some point, if she's invited and if her plans to start a family are not already in full swing.
In the meantime, she's hoping for a call back from EastEnders. She had a small part as an old schoolfriend brought in to seduce Gary Hobbs, one of the many Slater cast-off husbands. She was caught canoodling with him in the front room by Charlie Slater and has never been seen since.
"Bring back the floozy on the sofa!" Joanne said with a giggle.
But that is for the future. For now, the only part she can't wait to play is Mrs Morris.
"I just hope I don't fluff my words on Saturday," she said.
Updated: 09:11 Tuesday, November 02, 2004
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