I'VE started, so I'll finish. Does anyone know who compiles the questions for Mastermind? Me and the Other Half reckon there must be a brain-box from York who helps out, at the very least.

It's either that, or there's someone on the experts' panel who loves our city so much that he or she can't resist chucking in a regular teaser on the subject.

This week was no exception, and as soon as the words: "In which city will you find the historic thoroughfare of Stonegate?" were off John Humphreys' lips, we were both lustily bellowing our town's name.

God knows what the neighbours must think.

Thankfully, it's not often we both yell at the television at the same time like that, either in joy or anger, because our areas of quiz show expertise hardly ever overlap.

I get the chance to show off more when University Challenge is on, which possibly means that I have learned nothing useful since I left full-time education; while the Other Half usually beats me hands-down at Mastermind, the other highlight of Monday Night Quiz Night in our house.

I'm ashamed to say it, but we do keep score during these programmes, with the supplying of a correct answer being marked by a great deal of smug, juvenile crowing on the part of whoever is pulling ahead, and an equal amount of ungracious scowling on the part of the less knowledgeable party.

God forbid we should both know the answer, because when that happens the points go to the person who got in first, and there will inevitably be a heated and nasty exchange to decide the outcome.

So far, we haven't started a league table to mark our progress over the season of both programmes, but I wouldn't put it past us to stoop so low.

Hostilities sometimes cease when we take a communal shudder at those toe-curling interludes on Mastermind when Mr Humphreys tries to pretend a deep fascination in the contestants' specialist subjects.

Who knows? It may just be true that Today programme presenters regularly unwind by dipping into the back catalogue of the rock group XTC, or by trading unconsidered trifles about the minor characters in Fawlty Towers.

But somehow, we both doubt it, and all you can see when he tries to make small talk is the effort.

We also like to take an extreme stance on who we think should win either telly programme.

When it comes to Mastermind, we generally favour the man or woman who looks least likely to spend the night howling at the moon or gnawing on the bones of a long-dead ancestor. And in the case of University Challenge, it usually takes a single glance at the two teams for us to make up our minds.

Beards, Brylcreem and swept-across Bobby Charlton-style hairdos can clinch the deal for the other side, as can eccentric headgear, fluffy mascots and irritating chortles.

In the event of a tie, the team with the strongest tendency towards clever-dick interruptions - whether correct or incorrect - will become the focus of our wrath.

If they win, it's clearly an Establishment fix.

If they lose, we greet their misfortune with the sort of joy and derision that is demonstrated by most football fans at the news of a Manchester United defeat.

Updated: 09:07 Wednesday, October 27, 2004