WHILE York is the best city to visit in Britain, according to the retired colonels who read the Daily Torygraph (a double-edged compliment, surely) residents would be better conducting their social lives outside the Bar Walls.

At least, that is the unofficial advice emanating from the council.

Colleague John Dugdale, who lives in one of those streets off Bootham in the grip of ResPark, went to renew his visitors' parking permits the other day.

He expressed his dismay that they have increased in price from £1.50 to £5 per book. Especially as having bought the permits, "there's never anywhere to park anyway".

John said: "When I commented that it puts you off inviting people to stay, the woman behind the counter said, 'yes it does. It's probably better to go and stay out of York with your friends'."

ANOTHER money-making ruse dreamed up by council leader Steve Galloway is to evict officials from the Georgian splendour of St Leonard's Place and sell the place.

He wants to stick all council staff in a single building. No doubt Galloway House will boast ample free parking. Our leader even suggests Terry's as a possible venue. This would be ideal. Treasury officials would be able to nip out during race meetings and put York's dwindling coffers on Stony Broke in the 2.45pm.

And considering the council's reputation for sweeteners (see the £1.25 million underwriting of Joseph Rowntree Foundation's plans for Disasterthorpe - more on this next week) it would carry on the great Terry's tradition.

THANK you Chris Mead, Kevin Benson, Sue Cobley, John Slingsby, Clive Goodhead and Denise Howard.

They all responded to Margaret Birch's plea for more of a poem she remembered from childhood about the Battle of Hastings.

A special mention to Mrs Hardy, who brought in a copy of the poem she transcribed from a York library book while practising her typing; and to Ian Hebdon.

Clive, Keith and John believe it to be Marriott Edgar's monologue The Battle Of Hastings, which matches up with Mrs Hardy's typescript.

This begins differently to Mrs Birch's recollection, like this:

I'll tell of the Battle of Hastings,

As happened in days long gone by,

When Duke William became King of England,

And 'Arold got shot in the eye.

You can read all 18 verses by following a weblink supplied by Clive: monologues.co.uk/Battle_of_

Hastings.htm

Sue, from Huntington, remembered the same poem as Mrs Birch, which went like this:

William the Conqueror 1066

Said to his captain, I need to affix

England to Normandy

Go out and borrow

Some bows and some arrows

We're starting tomorrow.

So William went conquering

Hither and thither,

Till Angles and Saxons

Were all of a dither.

They conquered so quickly

You couldn't keep count.

Of the countries they conquered

I think they amount

To ten or a dozen

Or maybe a score

And I haven't a doubt

He'd have conquered some more

But death put an end

To his conquering tricks

That's William the Conquerer 1066.

Updated: 09:39 Friday, October 15, 2004