REPORTS came in to our luxurious Walmgate offices of an unusual new line on sale in York - ostrich eggs.

Although normally keen to keep the Diary's head firmly embedded in the sand, we couldn't resist investigating what could be a cracking story.

Sure enough, there they were: a row of creamy white mega-eggs, yours for a tenner each at the Oslinc stall on York Farmers' Market in Parliament Street yesterday.

In between serving a queue of customers with ostrich meat burgers, Oslinc's co-founder Russel Tomlin said that the eggs were about 24 times the volume of free-range chicken eggs.

That means that just one can create a fried egg 4ft in diameter.

They don't taste that much different, Russel said: "They're a little bit sweeter in the yolk, a little more runny on the white.

"They're much like duck eggs, very good for baking and they make fantastic Yorkshire puddings."

Many people like the eggs blown, so they can turn the shells into lamps or jewellery boxes.

Or you can boil an ostrich egg for tea if you have 48 minutes to spare and a giant eggcup handy.

But are they any good for chucking at politicians? "The politician wouldn't get back up, put it that way. It would be good if you didn't like them."

Oslinc, based in Boston, Lincolnshire, brings a stall back to York on August 29.

THE best buy advertised on the website of York sex shop Xes is not an ostrich egg, but a remote control love egg (only £49.99).

We only mention this because Xes owner Andrew Clark told the Evening Press today of his displeasure at Sky TV's regional news switch.

As reported elsewhere in the paper, Andrew can no longer receive Yorkshire TV via Sky, only Tyne Tees. Many other viewers are similarly affected, and are now forced to watch Newcastle news.

David Thompson, of Stillington, contacted the Diary to express his frustration at the change.

"Having tried for days I finally got through to Sky's helpline on 0845 601

7389.

"I asked them if I changed my Sky address to my work in York, would I then get Yorkshire. No - even YO1 postcodes are now deemed to be in the Tyne Tees basin!

"It is ITV that have done this, not Sky apparently. Crazy or what?"

Mr Burton, of Tedder Road, Acomb, asks: "How do we go about getting our own local news back? It only seems to be affecting the York area at the moment, but who knows where it will strike next? What can be done about it?"

Nothing apparently - at least until a management review which, according to an email sent by ITV to Mr Thompson, will not be carried out for at least another six weeks.

MY snippet of bus conversation earlier this week rekindled memories for Anne Forbester, of Beckfield Lane, Acomb.

It took her back on board an early morning bus to work in a town on the Nottinghamshire/Lincolnshire border. Two women, Jean and Joan, met on the top deck.

"Think of a flat, slightly nasal 'twang' of a dialect," Anne writes.

Jean: "'Ellow, Jowan. I en't seen you f'r a while. Ay yr orlright?"

Joan: "Yes, thanks. Ev bin on me'olidays."

Jean: "Didje gu somewhere nice, like?"

Joan: "Went to me daughter's in Scotland."

Jean: "Ooh, Scotland. Didje ev a nice time?"

Joan: "Yis, thanks. But they do talk funny up in Scotland, y'know."

Jean: "Oh, du they? What part of Scotland did yu gu to, then?"

Joan: "County Durham."

Anne says the North East dialect "wins hands down over Nottinghamshire, which (in my opinion - and I grew up there) must be almost as bad as the West Midlands.

"But then I'm prejudiced - I married a Geordie."

Is the Midlands accent really Britain's worst? And what did you hear on a bus? Let me know.

Write to: The Diary, Chris Titley, The Evening Press, 76-86 Walmgate, York YO1 9YN

Email diary@ycp.co.uk

Telephone (01904) 653051 ext 337

Updated: 09:40 Friday, July 30, 2004