Geordie comic Ross Noble loves to spin a shaggy story. His latest tour has the puzzling title of Noodlemeister. Charles Hutchinson tries to pin down what this means while finding out about the Noble art of comedy.
ROSS Noble's tour poster has the shaggy-haired North Eastern comic engulfed in a ball of psychedelic flames, or maybe he has just been let loose on a box of decorative ribbons.
The image (see right) takes you in all manner of oddball directions, much in the style of one of his effusive live shows on his latest tour, the one with the puzzling title of Noodlemeister.
As his tour publicity does its best to explain, he will be "noodling his way around every subject under the sun, as well as some from the darkest recesses of his mind" on his return to the Grand Opera House in York on Thursday and Friday.
Ross, what exactly is a 'noodlemeister'?
"Basically, it's really hard coming up with titles for my show because it's so hard to describe what it is. By the time you come along, inevitably it has changed," he says, no nearer to pinning down a definition.
"But I think Noodlemeister describes what I'm like, not the show."
Ah, now we are making progress. Presumably, noodling is a reference to jazz musicians' predilection for improvising at every opportunity, rather than a confession that your mind is addled by an addiction to instant food of the pot-boiled variety, Ross?
"Heck, I haven't been called to account this much in any interview so far! In terms of that jazz thing, that's quite a good analogy. If people are noodling around in a jazz style, that's to be applauded, isn't it?"
Describe your idea of noodling, Ross. "Basically imagine the hits of Bon Jovi played by a jazz legend." Any hit in particular? "Just pick one at random."
This mention of jazz has Ross suddenly thinking at a tangent. "My uncle is a jazz musician, and he had a dog called Mingus named after the jazz musician. Imagine shouting that across a park, especially in a Geordie accent. 'Mingus!'. All those Geordie lasses saying 'Oh, don't be so rude'."
This phone interview took place two weeks into the tour, and Ross was at home, taking calls ahead of that night's show at Southend. In his own words, he was feeling "not too shabby", a state of mind affirmed by his amusement - or maybe bemusement - at the line of questioning. How come a gig in Southend meant a Geordie comic could be at home that day?
"I live in Kent now." Why? "Why? Because I lived in London and I got fed up with it. I thought I would find somewhere a bit leafier, so I moved to the Garden of England, though my bit is more the Patio of England. But it's getting there; it's just after the crazy paving."
Here he is doing exactly what his publicity machine says he will do: talk about anything that comes into his head. "Yes, that's a brilliantly worded press release. Some nights I will think, oh I don't know where that line of thought came from: on occasion I surprise even myself," he says.
"It can start with a specific subject, and from there you start bringing things up from the recesses of your mind, but if you didn't do that you might as well write scripts and just do a TV show and re-edit it."
Ross is happy with how Noodlemeister is progressing.
"Well, it just gets better, to be honest. Every night you just push yourself a little bit further. The physical stuff gets more physical, the darker stuff gets darker, and I think that because I'm playful people aren't scared, so much as going 'Ooh.. that was funny'.
"Like when I was asked by this radio presenter about Posh and Becks being hounded by the press, and I said I didn't think they'd been hounded enough and suggested hunting them with dogs, and the presenter just accepted it."
Ross Noble has that disarming, Tommy Cooper gift of making you laugh at whatever he says: like a quicksilver boxer, you can't read his line of attack until, too late, he has hit you again. This autumn, maybe October, perhaps November - the release date is yet to be fixed - there will be the chance to study his technique at close quarters in his new DVD, a double disc of his last show, Unrealtime.
"I'm doing it independently, editing it myself, and it features two shows; one filmed last June or July, the other filmed last September. The first was done indoors, in a West End theatre, the Garrick; the second was an outdoor show at the Regent's Park open-air theatre. You can see how much the show had changed in between," he says.
How refreshing to hear a comedian say it would be "too easy just to bring out a DVD as a cash-in".
"So I've purposely done the whole thing myself, the artwork and the packaging. Otherwise you just lose control of it, and lose the essence of what I do. I didn't want to have a DVD company choosing between the indoor and outdoor show."
Noble sentiments indeed from a stand-up comic of inspired lunacy and yet exacting standards too.
"I've always said I'd only do stand-up on TV on my own terms, and that's one of the reasons I've agreed to do a guest spot on Jack Dee's new show for the BBC, Jack Dee Live At Apollo. There'll be me, Ardal O'Hanlon, Jo Brand, Omid Djalili, doing one show each.
"It goes out in September on Monday nights, and I'll be on for about 30 minutes out of 40 in the show I did. Nice little job for Jack. He comes out, does five or ten minutes and then introduces me and then it's 'See you'. Out the door!"
Ross Noble: you are as potty as noodles.
Ross Noble, Noodlemeister, Grand Opera House, York, July 15 and 16, 8pm. Tickets are selling fast at £16; ring 0870 606 3595 to check availability.
Updated: 08:35 Friday, July 09, 2004
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