DEFYING a dearth of journalistic ability, and without a safety net, the Diary will now attempt to tie together the top stories from today and yesteryear.

This is the 20th anniversary of the Minster fire. Meanwhile people across the city are blazing mad (this is classy stuff) about the parking restrictions.

So how do we link the two? With the help of retired York firefighter Phil Wade, who called in with a letter which circulated around the brigade after the Park Grove School fire a few years back. But it has extra pertinence now.

It purports to come from "The NCP, The Car Park People, Traffic Warden House, Fakenham."

"As a national company anxious to expand in any regions, we are keen to provide a facility to enable a greater freedom for your city's oppressed motorists," begins the letter, supposedly from Bernie Schoolar. "Naturally as the major provider of off-street parking in the UK we are continually seeking new prime city sites ready for almost instant occupation.

"To this end we are anxious to forge links with anybody who can furnish us with such sites. Now that the Luftwaffe's legacy from their impressive bombing campaign of the early Forties has gone, it has been increasingly rare to find a destructive power of comparable reliability.

"However having read your credentials through the newspapers we have identified something similar which we believe, with a little extra training, could be just as effective.

"We could not fail to be impressed by the skills displayed at the fire in the Grade II listed school on Thursday night and having been informed that you let the Minster go in 1984 we realise you are not daunted by size or historic values.

"A partnership between Red Watch York and NCP could free the motorists of York by providing off-street parking virtually anywhere..."

WITH this in mind, did anyone else spot them? In the top right hand corner of the modern photograph of the restored Minster, published in our anniversary supplement on Wednesday, were two fire engines.

Were they on a recce?

MR Wade was not involved in the battle to save the Minster - although he was commended with his colleagues for the courage they showed fighting the 1990 Harrogate Exhibition Centre blaze. However he did go to the Minster a day or two after the fire. There he met with Leeds University boffins investigating the cause. They told him that the reason a lightning strike did not follow the cathedral's conductors to earth was because the base was made of limestone.

This was very dry because of the hot conditions, and was therefore very resistant to electricity.

The bolt instead leapt into the electrical junction box for the exterior spotlights and the rest is kindling.

Incidentally, Mr Wade has loaned us another very funny document, which we hope to reproduce in full next week.

THE Diary has previously reported how Edward VII went topless.

Now Dale "Minnie The" Minks has spotted that the Nunnery Lane pub has increased its, ahem, "glamour" evenings. Tuesday night, the pub blackboard stated, was "Donna In Lingerie"; on Wednesday night "Lisa In Lingerie"; then Thursday night it's the Topless Barmaid. As to what happens at the weekend, we are too demure to ask.

"But when will my generation be catered for?" asks Dale.

"When will we wrinklies get full measure with froth on - featuring Thelma In Thermals or Connie In Combs?"

Write to: The Diary, Chris Titley, The Evening Press, 76-86 Walmgate, York YO1 9YN

Email diary@ycp.co.uk

Telephone (01904) 653051 ext 337

Updated: 09:15 Friday, July 09, 2004