MASS murderers are reducing world overcrowding, dictators make the trains run on time and even Swiss referees love their mums.

But one group of social outcasts are vilified without mitigation: cyclists who ride on the pavement.

Rarely a day goes by without an outraged York citizen tearing into two-wheeled troublemakers. A glance at the letters page on the left shows today is no exception.

Residents with tyre tracks down their backs are even more cross at the lack of action to penalise promiscuous pedallers.

So it is with happy heart that the Diary can report that the matter has been taken to Westminster.

An unprecedented two-pronged Tory probe came from Ryedale MP John Greenway and his Vale of York colleague (not to mention Diary fashion pundit) Anne McIntosh.

A few days back, Mr Greenway asked minister Caroline Flint what advice the Home Office gave "to police forces in England and Wales about the enforcement of legislation which prohibits cycling on footpaths".

Ms Flint replied that it was left to Chief Constables to "assess the level, nature and causes of cycling offences locally and decide the response". Community support officers now have the power to issue instant £30 fines "for cycling inconsiderately or on the pavement," she added.

Miss McIntosh followed this up by asking if the Government "will encourage pedestrians who are knocked over by cyclists on footpaths and pavements to report the incident to the police".

Ms Flint gave a 59-word answer which can be boiled down to one: Yes.

Will we soon see David Blunkett setting his dog Lucy after off-road cyclists in a brazen attempt to win a few votes? We must wait and see.

IN June 2003, squatters were kicked out of the erstwhile White Swan Hotel in York. By then, they had brilliantly exposed the decades-long neglect of the building.

At that time, the Evening Press reported that "discussions between agents acting for the owners of the Piccadilly landmark and council development officers on its future role in the city are now taking place".

More than a year on, the Diary asked for an update. "The agents for the owner of the hotel met with council officers several months ago to talk about options for the reuse of the building, then went away to report back to their client," the council's spokeswoman told us.

"When we called the agents two weeks ago, they were still awaiting a response from their client and promised to chase it up.

"We are obviously concerned about the building and the impact it has on the rest of the city. We will continue to press the owners to make improvements to the hotel and, hopefully, secure a permanent use for it."

Also a year ago, we reported that "if the millionaire family owners of the White Swan fail to take action within the next three months to restore the hotel frontage, officers will consider enforcement action".

So what has happened here? "Permission would not be required to paint the ground floor frontage as has been done," the council spokeswoman told us, "although technically the boarding over of the windows prior to their painting would have required consent.

"Visually the result would be the same if they'd just painted the windows, but the building is more secure."

If you're holding your breath on this one, we suggest you exhale now.

DURING the rainy weekend, we took the two Diary offspring to both the Yorkshire Museum and the Castle Museum.

We received friendly welcomes in both, and our reception at the Castle was positively toastie.

There is one young man who will never forget being given a Civil War helmet to put on his head and a sword to wave at his dad.

And as the cost of both visits came to precisely no pounds and nuppence, it's value verging on the miraculous.

Write to: The Diary, Chris Titley, The Evening Press, 76-86 Walmgate, York YO1 9YN

Email diary@ycp.co.uk

Telephone (01904) 653051 ext 337

Updated: 09:43 Tuesday, July 06, 2004