GOOD to see two bubbly North Yorkshire epics making it into the top ten water features in England.

The Cascade at Chatsworth House took top spot in the survey for Country Life magazine.

Making a splash for this neck of the woods were Moon Ponds at Studley Royal, at number four, and the Atlas Fountain at Castle Howard (nine).

The Atlas was installed by landscape gardener William Andrews Nesfield, the Charlie Dimmock of the 1850s.

He used horsepower to pump stream water up to the Ray Wood reservoir, and the fall downhill from there is enough to power all the jets.

Despite their cooling properties, fountains often provoke heated argument. Country Life's top ten was compiled to coincide with the unveiling of the memorial water feature for Diana, Princess of Wales, in London's Hyde Park. A ring of granite costing £3.6 million, it has met with a mixed reception, with some comparing it to a storm drain.

Nevertheless it is more thrilling than York's attempts at water art, which are as dismal as a drizzly day in Drax.

The jets at the foot of William Etty's statue, outside the Art Gallery in Exhibition Square, have all the power and majesty of a Little Chef teapot.

While the one in Parliament Street is nothing more than a self-cleaning ashtray.

The only time this unsightly obstacle has inspired anything other than a cry of pain from toes stubbed on the giant balls which surround it was during its first month of operation.

Opened in April 1992, it promptly turned vivid shades of yellow, mauve, blue, green and blood red by turns as passers-by added food dye to the water.

Could we do something similar to liven it up again? Or should we switch it off and turn it into a flowerbed?

WHILE on the subject of the city centre, the Diary is a keen supporter of the initiative to fine litter louts 50 quid a crisp packet or cigarette butt.

But can we extend the scheme, so that shops which foist flyers on unwilling shoppers are fined £50 for every one later found discarded on the footstreets?

Both HMV on Coney Street and Church Street's Phones 4U were taking part in this mass littering programme yesterday.

OTHER Side Comedy Club host Dan Atkinson hits the box tonight.

Last year the Diary chronicled how shaggy Dan had his beard shorn and his locks lopped by the BBC. It was to see whether a smart new look affected his comedy persona, as part of the science slot Body Hits.

All things telly take ages to finish, and the programme is finally due to be screened tonight.

York Comedy Festival supremo Dan can be seen being "shaved and humiliated", as he puts it, on digital channel BBC Three at 9pm.

MORE news from the York Performers Platform. Members of this gaggle of creative types, committed to bringing art to the people, have already organised a musical safari in Coppergate and dressed as JFK and his widow to play for punters in Kennedy's bar.

Now the team are cooking up ideas for September's food and drink festival, perhaps linking a spot of Vivaldi to four seasons pizza. And bookish types may be in for a shock.

"We have made a friend at the central library, in the literary officer Julia Davis, who is keen to explore the library and all its nooks and crannies as a performance space," emails Jane Easby, of the Performers Platform.

The group's next meeting is on Wednesday, July 7, at Victor J's on Finkle Street, from 8pm. Anyone with ideas is welcome.

Write to: The Diary, Chris Titley, The Evening Press, 76-86 Walmgate, York YO1 9YN

Email diary@ycp.co.uk

Telephone (01904) 653051 ext 337

Updated: 09:05 Thursday, July 01, 2004