Forget teeny-weeny bikinis - micro-mini skirts are here. JO HAYWOOD takes up the challenge to find York's miniest mini. And the shortest she could find ran to nine inches.
THERE is nothing simple about skirts. There's the maxi, the midi, the mini, the micro and the Marsh. The first is ankle-warming, the second is knee-hugging, the third is thigh-high, the fourth is barely there, and the fifth is a belt.
Jodie Marsh, the "model" who makes a strawberry jelly look intelligent, turned up at a recent awards bash wearing a top made from two spangly straps criss-crossing her ample assets and a five-inch micro-skirt that did nothing to cover her modesty (not that she has any) or her bum (of which she appears to have plenty).
Her skirt - or "bottom necklace" to give it its scientific name - was extreme at just five inches in length, but it was not a million inches away from the sort of micro skirts available on every high street in the UK.
Surely York is exempt, though? You can't possibly get micro-minis in this esteemed haven of history and culture, can you? Don't you believe it. They are everywhere: from department stores to high street chains and independent boutiques, you can't move for micros.
Not that they take up much room. Individually they weigh about as much as a teabag, and can be folded up to approximately the size of a cornflake. But they are growing in number daily, repopulating the fashion rails with tiny swatches of fabric that wouldn't look out of place in Barbie's wardrobe.
So who wears these mini sensations? People such as 18-year-old Gemma Wilson, who works at Pilot in Coney Street.
"I just love them," she said. "The shorter the better as far as I'm concerned."
She was wearing a pink mini (13in long, £13.50 from Pilot), which she confided was turned up to make it look shorter, and had just bought a tiny denim number - the shortest one in the shop at a minuscule nine inches in length (£16.99).
"When the weather is good, there is nothing cooler than a mini," she said. "Who wants to wear jeans when the sun is shining like today?"
Shona Blackburn, who works in Ark on Colliergate, is another micro fan, and she's not alone if sales at the shop are anything to go by. "We sell loads," she said, "especially in denim. They're easy to wear. If you're not confident enough for one of these, you could go for hotpants - they're just as short, but you're not as likely to flash your knickers."
Ark had a wide selection of mini skirts, including an intriguing mock denim wrap (12.5in, £25 by Pash), but its miniest was a 10in fire engine red micro (£19.95 by Bench).
These were small, but there were even smaller skirts on offer at Fenwick in the Coppergate Centre. Olivia Searle, 20, who works in the store, sported a relatively demure 13in spotty mini (£55 by Miss Sixty) initially, but was persuaded to swap it for the teeniest, tiniest denim micro (£75, also by Miss Sixty) in the store - and, quite possibly, the city.
"You'd have to be really confident to wear this," she said, attempting to sit down while retaining her modesty in the barely-there nine-inch skirt. "I hope my mum doesn't see me."
If you know of a shorter mini-skirt on sale in York, call Jo Haywood on 01904 653051 or email jo.haywood@ycp.co.uk.
Updated: 09:36 Saturday, June 12, 2004
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