WHO are more patriotic, cyclists or motorists?

The Diary has the definitive answer. In this case, four wheels are certainly better than two.

While half the cars shuffling around York sport a St George's flag or two, cyclists have nothing fluttering except their trousers.

Being a pedal-powered football fan, your Diarist inquired at York Cycleworks, Lawrence Street, as to the availability of bicycle bunting. Nothing.

Not a single England flag suitable for handlebar or pannier is on sale; and no one else had asked for one.

The chain gang is choosing to ignore Euro 2004.

"A lot of cyclists aren't into football," said Martyn Miller co-operative director of York Cycleworks. "We find they're into cycling. It's a totally different thing."

Anyone watching the Tour de France next month (if they can locate the television coverage) will find it a far cry from Beckham and Rooney's antics.

"Football is on for 90 minutes and you can go absolutely mental for 90 minutes.

"Watching a good stage of the tour, it's six hours long... and for five-and-a-half hours nothing happens."

York City Knights fan Martyn is sceptical about the craze for car flags. "How many people realise that their car is German, or French or Japanese? Very patriotic - English flags all over their foreign cars."

And there is another good reason for the bicycle brigade to shun flags: "Cyclists often looked silly enough."

FRESH from its pioneering "porn origami" contest, revealed in last night's Diary, Kennedy's is hosting another unusual entertainment tonight.

The venue, on Little Stonegate, is the official bar of the York Comedy Festival. So drinkers will not be entirely surprised to be serenaded there by a flute-playing dead president and his wife.

Flautists Catherine Bush and Jane Easby are dressing up as John F Kennedy and Jackie respectively to play a series of classical duets.

Both are members of arts group York Performers' Platform.

"Part of the agenda of the performers' platform is to mix up these perceived high culture forms and not take them too seriously," says Jane, who is assembling her Jackie outfit from her workplace, vintage clothing shop Priestleys in Grape Lane.

She is also taking part in the group's "musical safari" in Coppergate this Saturday afternoon.

Shoppers will be invited to hunt for "a pair of wild flutes; a string family group; an adult male sousaphone; stalking cymbalists; and a common guitarist".

WE note that the Guardian Diary yesterday had fun with the Evening Press story about Sandra Geere, whose two recorded delivery letters were lost by the Royal Mail which promptly lost her compensation cheque.

Meanwhile our reporter Steve Carroll was walking round to Sandra's house in the Groves to return her correspondence. For some reason she didn't trust Royal Mail...

YORK star-gazer Jonathan Cainer took time off from his psychic experience museum in Stonegate to watch the Transit of Venus from the London Eye.

In his Mirror column he reports how the event inspired new insights.

"I'm sure that, among other things, it heralds an increase in the global population - " you don't say - "and a planet-wide time of great prosperity and comparative peace.

"I also predict that in the eight years from now until the next alignment there will be a music revolution, a blossoming of the arts, a decision to host the 2012 Olympic Games in London, and a dramatic increase in the number of women holding top jobs in society."

And fewer people swallowing the notion that planetary movements influence their lives..?

BACK with Euro 2004, the Diary notes that John Terry is struggling to be fit in time for England's opening game against France on Sunday.

Is it too late for the Evening Press to launch a Save Terry campaign?

Write to: The Diary, Chris Titley, The Evening Press, 76-86 Walmgate, York YO1 9YN

Email diary@ycp.co.uk

Telephone (01904) 653051 ext 337

Updated: 10:04 Thursday, June 10, 2004