SO David Beckham has thrown all his toys out of his pram during the mother of all hissy fits.

It appears that the nasty media (which he manipulates ceaselessly) has mentioned again that he had two alleged extra marital affairs.

Considering that he and Victoria - or the first Mrs Beckham, as we like to call her - ring the press and TV every time one of them gets a bout of hiccups, I think he's got a damned cheek.

This man really should get over himself, people aren't interested anymore. People are bored with your juvenile tattoos, your children and your missus's constant attempts to sing.

I had to laugh when I heard that Victoria will now move to Spain and continue her 'career' from there.

Have I missed something? Victoria has a career? What is it? Please put me out of my misery - what does this silly pampered woman do apart from striking scary poses reminiscent of Gloria Swanson in Sunset Boulevard?

David is very skilful with a football, but it's not rocket science is it? If I was getting paid more than £100,000 a week to kick a ball, the press could say I was Hitler's love child - I'd even grow the tash!

E Hirst.

Coggan Close,

South Bank,

York.

Updated: 09:51 Monday, May 31, 2004