DEPUTY Prime Minister John Prescott was first to react after a condom filled with purple cornflour bounced off Tony Blair's shoulder and exploded in the Commons on Wednesday.

Throwing his order papers to the floor like bar towels, Mr Prescott - a former ship's waiter - had the mess covered in no time.

But no-one on the Government front bench had tried to dive in front of the missile when it was mid flight.

In days gone by, it would have been possible to imagine a loyal minister leaping into its path, shouting: "No, not Tony - take me!!!"

Now they don't have the energy or, perhaps, the inclination. No point ruining a perfectly good suit if the Prime Minister is on his way soon. Better to make sure Gordon Brown is OK.

Flying contraceptives apart - there is a certain irony to Fathers 4 Justice hurling a condom at dad-of-four Mr Blair - this week was all about Mr Prescott and Mr Brown's oyster bar "succession" summit in Scotland.

In an almost incomprehensible rant about kippers and chips, Mr Prescott dismissed the meeting as "press prattle" - one of his favourite phrases.

But it did nothing to stop the chatter about when, not if, Mr Blair will depart Downing Street.

According to Mr Blair's aides it will not be for another couple of years. He wants to win a record third term for the Labour Party and sort out the mess in Iraq before calling it a day.

But his political enemies - who have paid careful note to Mr Blair's own admission he'll quit if he becomes an electoral liability - have not given up hope of a summer 2004 demise.

Certainly, he's in for a tough few days in June. The local election results - an almost guaranteed hammering for Labour - will dominate the headlines on June 11 and 12. Then, on Sunday the 13th, we will get the European Election result. The ballot will take place at the same time as the local polls, but the verdict is withheld until the rest of the continent has voted.

Shortly after, England's footballers will play their opening Euro 2004 game against France, the pre-tournament favourites.

Of course, a good tournament would give Mr Blair a huge lift - or at least knock his woes off the front page of the tabloids.

But Mr Blair's supporters are optimists, not deluded fools, and they're not banking on Sven's men saving the day.

Instead, they may use that old favourite, the Hunting Bill, to placate the left-wingers for a month or two.

It had originally been pencilled in for the gap between the Easter recess and the elections. Party managers, who recognise the special place a ban has in Labour hearts, wanted to give activists a shot in the arm.

But that has not proved possible, so it is now likely to be wheeled out in either June or early July.

The Bill can be passed by MPs in just one day and will then go to the Lords for a battle royal with Peers.

A Government loyalist said: "The Bill is ready. It is just waiting to be brought out at a time that suits the party managers."

But what about the media, which has largely lost interest in the hunting saga? Newspapers will still be hounding Mr Blair mercilessly.

"Big Brother starts soon. We're hoping the housemates will get close - very close - and take care of that," the MP added.

Updated: 10:43 Friday, May 21, 2004