Walking fever

We pulled in through the gilded gates, parked under a monkey puzzle tree and looked out, through the rain, at the French confection that is the Bowes Museum in Barnard Castle.

Ten minutes before, in the town's main street, quite suddenly, I had felt queasy, the onset of a week of fever out of which I have heroically risen to type this report.

Bad weather plus being under the weather put the clappers on our plan for a longish woodland wander. Luckily we had a plan B and before all systems failed I staggered off on a most effortless Teesdale amble.

It goes like this. Museum grounds, nice. School playing fields, grass. Green Lane, old road, a track, flat, pleasant, views over the valley of the River Tees. What else can I dredge from my fevered brain? Oh yes, swallows (or martins?- heavens!) that circled a sycamore harvesting the tree's insect production. The fancy roof shapes of the museum, a regularity of small fields - some quite solid with sheep, buttercups and white bluebells.

At its end the track was officially arrowed "Public Byway", a sign we have never seen before. The return track is similarly waymarked, and although parallel and only a field away had quite a different ambience, more flowers including wood avens, a neat farm, dry-stone walls, and nesting boxes for tits, facing north as they should.

Nearly back we came upon a rabbit static with myxomatosis. Since the death of my dog it has been my job, as the man, to humanely dispatch such creatures. I got the usual glances but ignored them, better to let nature do the job than botch it through weakness. Luckily the Bowes Museum although three or four storeys high and not small is not dauntingly large, an athletic exercise in itself. It was constructed especially for an Englishman's continental collection. The El Greco cost John Bowes £8 in 1862; my favourite painting is a little scene inside a prison by Goya. At the moment, until June 1, there is an engaging and combative collection from Madrid of mainly abstracts by three Spanish and three English painters, including a psychedelic wall-full by Noel Forster that would, with prolonged exposure, do in the head of the fittest.

That's it, I'm going back to bed.

Fact File:

Distance: Three miles.

Time: An hour or two.

General location: County Durham.

Start: Either from Bowes Museum if patrons, or free public car park nearby.

Right of way: The complete route is along public rights of way.

Date walked: Friday, May 16, 2003.

Road route: A1, A66.

Car parking: Free long-stay in Barnard Castle, large free car park behind Bowes Museum for patrons.

Lavatories: Indeed. At the time of writing there is a display by the Water Closet Workshop at the Bowes Museum called "Are you sitting comfortably?". Fourteen international artists have made models with modifications, including perforations, spikes and teeth.

Refreshments: Inns and cafs in Barnard Castle. Licensed caf at Bowes Museum where they do tea and cakes, and lunch from noon until 2pm. It is not necessary to purchase museum ticket to eat there.

Tourist and public transport information: Barnard Castle TIC 01833 690909; Bowes Museum 01833 690606 and www.bowesmuseum.org.uk

Map: Based on OS Explorer OL31 North Pennines.

Terrain: Valley side of River Tees.

Points of interest: The Bowes Museum. Daily 11am to 5pm, adults £6, concessions £5, under-16s free.

Difficulty: Easy.

Dogs: Suitable.

Weather forecast: Evening Press and recorded forecast 0891 500 418

Please observe the Country Code and park sensibly. While every effort is made to provide accurate information, walkers set out at their own risk.

Directions

When in doubt look at the map. Check your position at each point. Keep straight on unless otherwise directed.

1. Pass Bowes Museum, school entrance on left (path signed), keep by wall. (From museum grounds, path inside western edge leads to gate at north-east corner, right then second left to Kalafat road.)

2. Right to Kalafat road, path on right (signed), bends, right at stone seat and high fence, gate, gate, path, 50 yards after houses, path on left through trees (waymark), stile, hedge gap, left uphill.

3. Right to track, right to road.

4. Track on right (asphalt until farm, signed byway). Descends by school back to road.

Click here to view a map of the walk

Updated: 08:47 Saturday, May 24, 2003