ROMAN soldier Keith Mulhearn is in touch, asking to put the record straight.

He fears his reputation has been decimated by an Evening Press picture caption on Monday which suggested his stage name is Minimus Peniculus. In fact, he says, it is Maximus Gluteus.

Latin isn't the Diary's strongest subject. But even we can see that there is something suggestive in these character names.

Keith comes clean. Maximus Gluteus is Latin for fat backside (reversed, it is the medical term for the muscle in the bottom).

And Minimus Peniculus, as you might have guessed, means small, er, manhood.

He christened fellow legionary John Hoyland Minimus Peniculus as a joke - only to see it backfire on him in the picture caption. Keith insists his peniculus is, at the very least, medius.

Meanwhile the third of the Roman trio, Chris Kelly, gave himself a nonsense name, Scipio Garralus, which sounds like a new Ford car.

Dressed up in helmets and chain-mail mini-skirts, Maximus, Minimus and Scipio walked 20 miles around the York walls at the weekend, both to raise money for Caroline's Rainbow Foundation and to launch Keith's new Roman soldier tour. By the evening, first century footwear was causing problems.

"It was the sandals," Keith moaned. "On the last lap we were walking round like Steptoe."

IN our defence the Diary did ask a while ago: "Is this an urban myth?"

Yep, we're back with this Beckham business. An emailer has referred us to an urban legends web site, snopes.com.

This catalogues more than one version of the story of the Beckhams paying an unnamed couple a fortune to change the date of their wedding so Mr and Mrs Posh could take over the hotel. One story dates from 2002, another from last year.

The American author of the website concludes: "The story is false. Nothing we've found supports any element of it - there's no check-clutching couple, no abrogated rental hall contract, no cancelled check.

"Though many have heard the legend, none of them knows the lucky couple's name, and when folks at the various facilities this story has been tied to have been asked about it, they've denied anything like that happened there."

Cheer up, gossip fans. There's always a first time.

IT seems dissent will no longer be tolerated when it comes to the Barbican't Centre. Geoff Beacon recorded video clips of Save Our Barbican campaigners as part of the effort to overturn the council's plans for the leisure centre.

He takes up the story. "I am opposed to the current plans for the redevelopment of the Barbican but my main interest in doing this particular video was to see if there are more direct ways of presenting grass roots views to the council.

"I booked Committee Room 1 in the Guildhall to show this video to interested councillors etc.

"I also printed some notices publicising the video, which I displayed on the door of Committee Room 1 and at the

reception desk...

"Imagine my disappointment when I was told that, on Coun Ann Reid's orders, my publicity notices had been taken down.

"That's not in the democratic spirit!"

ON a similar theme, a source at the Guildhall informs the Diary of one impact of council cutbacks.

We are told that only executive and shadow executive members are now allowed copies of the executive agenda on cost grounds.

However this has left some senior council officers struggling.

At a recent meeting, an assistant director was asked what input his department had had into a report.

Having not received the agenda, the officer could only confess to being completely in the dark.

Write to: The Diary, Chris Titley, The Evening Press, 76-86 Walmgate, York YO1 9YN

Email diary@ycp.co.uk

Telephone (01904) 653051 ext 337

Updated: 10:41 Thursday, April 29, 2004